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Perfect Self-administered Ruined Orgasm

 

The Submissive Male’s Guide to the Perfect Self-administered Ruined Orgasm

A ruined orgasm for a submissive male is one of the most intensely pleasurable, toe-curling, sweat-inducing, back-arching, fist-clenching, teeth-gnashing, brain-bending endeavors a submissive male can experience to drive him into an animal sexual frenzy.  One of the biggest misconceptions about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined.”  It sounds like torture or something a submissive male might do to himself only for punishment.  But, it could be a way to experience ecstasy, delight and have one of the biggest and best orgasms he has ever had in his entire life.

The name is misleading in that a properly ruined orgasm is STILL an orgasm!  Yet, it does feel profoundly different to the submissive male, but it still feels great, yet in a different way than a normal orgasm.  The perfect ruined orgasm is a special kind of climax, achieved in a very specific way that triggers a different sequence of physical, emotional, and hormonal reactions in the submissive male’s body.  To a male accustomed to and expecting normal orgasms, the sudden surprise of new and different sensations might be confusing in his hyper-aroused brain by causing unexpected disappointment. The submissive male is expecting one thing – a powerful climax, but at the last second, he gets something different.  A ruined orgasm does not tell the submissive male’s brain to release any of the hormones associated with the post-orgasmic “afterglow,” such as prolactin and oxytocin. Dopamine levels remain elevated throughout the body. Instead of feeling sluggish and exhausted after an orgasm, the submissive male remains aroused and sexually frustrated after ruining the orgasm.   Rarely would a male ruin his own orgasm, but a submissive male, under the strict control or directions of a Mistress, different sensations and motivations occur.

There are a few important things that enable a submissive male to have a “perfect” (or as close to that as possible) ruined orgasm.

First, often associated with the perfect ruined orgasm is extended pleasure.   One possible path for the submissive male to take is to perform, possibly at the direction of a Mistress, repeated (four to six consecutive days), prolonged (from 15 to 30 minutes) stop-and-start stimulation.  This is commonly known as edging.  This seems to charge up the submissive male and his cock to a higher sensitivity and definitely a greater yearning for an orgasm, any orgasm.

Second, unlike a normal orgasm, with a ruined orgasm all stimulation stops as the ejaculation begins to build.  And this is the tricky part, the stroking of the cock toward an orgasmic explosion needs to terminate at a critical moment.  If you wait until the sperms starts its path through the urethra, it’s too late.  Stopping at the height of the build up but before you teeter over that edge is critical and this is where many would be “ruiners” fail, by stroking too long, either out of ignorance or lack of control.

To achieve a “perfect” ruined orgasm, keen attention must be given to the signals from the submissive male’s body, particularly as his stroking leads to what could be “THE” climactic end to the edging, but making sure to stop the stroking before the climax actually occurrs.  There is a critical point when more stroking would achieve orgasm.  It takes all of the submissive male’s willpower and desire to please his Mistress to submit and follow Her orders – when a ruined orgasm only is permitted.

The submissive male needs to train himself to give himself a perfect ruined orgasm.  He needs to know his body very, very well.  He needs to study his specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify the first possible moment in the sequence where he can let go and cause himself to still cascade through climax.  Arched back, tensed muscles, grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls–every submissive male has his signals.  Leaking pre-cum is an excellent signal for the submissive male to become aware of if hoping to achieve a ruined orgasm.  Instead of letting go “at the last second,” the submissive male actually wants to let go as early as possible.  He needs to hang, untouched, on the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his body reflexively sends him over.  If done correctly, the perfect ruined orgasm results in his sperm to just dribble out, under weak contractions, if at all.  The submissive male should desire and seek to extend that “hangtime” just before ejaculation to be as long as possible.

Sadly, but understandable, the submissive male typically misjudges his own point-of-no-return.  It is probably long before he says it is.  The problem is he is in a mindless pleasure-trance when stroking toward orgasm.  The submissive male is not the most reliable person at that point but needs to train himself to become more sensitive and attentive to achieve the perfect self-administered ruined orgasm.

Ample loads of sperm may be released from the submissive male’s cock during a ruined orgasm, especially if not allowed to orgasm for an extended time, but not with the intensity of a normal orgasm.  If successful, the male’s sperm is only released through a dribbling out of the cock (not a powerful spurting like a normal orgasm) or by “forcing” the sperm out by firmly but gently squeezing the cock by forming a circle with his thumb and forefinger and running his two fingers from the base of his cock to the tip in a milking action.

Why is a ruined orgasm so special?  In a normal orgasm, the male hits his peak of pleasure, then comes crashing down in a wonderful, violent torrent of release, followed by an involuntary rest-and-recharge time called the “refractory period.”  He feels a warm, satisfying wash of hormones.  Then his cock goes limp and his entire body instinctively commands him to rest and recover.

In a ruined orgasm, the submissive male hits his peak of pleasure, tips just barely over the edge, but the violent crash is not triggered.  It is not triggered because the expected physical stimulation is absent.  Weak muscle contractions struggle to squeeze the cum from his body.  He feels an electric tremor throughout his body, distinctly different from the warm wash of a normal orgasm.  Importantly, the sense of satisfaction never triggers.  The submissive male had an orgasm and he unloaded some cum, but he feels “unfinished.”  Despite having released his load, the submissive male is exceptionally horny and frustrated, not exhausted and satisfied as with a normal orgasm, and is likely still erect.  While his balls are drained, he did not have the sensation of having an orgasm.

 

There may be many reasons why a submissive male would attempt to have the “perfect ruined orgasm.”

Some submissive males are turned on with this kind of play – the control exerted by a Mistress, the using of his cock for Her pleasure and not his, and the continued sexual frustration which does not occur after a normal orgasm.  The male remains as before the ruined orgasm, hanging on his Mistress’s every command, ready and willing to obey Her.

A ruined orgasm is different and something a male would not choose on his own.  As a submissive, the male relinquishes all control to his Mistress, She makes the decisions and orders him to do something that he likely would not have initiated.  A Mistress might allow Her submissive male the pleasure of a normal orgasm or may decide to have him endure a ruined orgasm – it is completely under Her control.

A ruined orgasm causes the submissive male to focus on pleasing his Mistress, not achieving his own pleasure.  As a true submissive, the male’s thoughts and actions should be about his Mistress, not himself.

Masturbation, something a male may do all too frequently before becoming submissive to his Mistress, would allow him total control – when to start, how long to stroke, when to finish, and how to finish.  The ruined orgasm is the quintessential giving up of control and trusting in his Mistress to make all of the decisions, especially on how to finish the stroking session.

Finally, prolonged chastity without any release can be problematic for a submissive male’s health.  A Mistress should be sensitive to that and a ruined orgasm serves to provide the submissive male with the medical benefits of draining his balls, while not providing him with the pleasure associated with a normal orgasm.  Like milking the prostate, the ruined orgasm is beneficial for the submissive male’s health.

Researched and written by slaveboy.  Assisted by sissy jennifer.

Ruined Orgasm - Mistress Ayn

 

Trials and Tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #24

Installment #24 – Indefinite Chasity – May Be the Harshest Chastity Sentence of All – by slaveboy

From my investigations, chastity sentences take on many different forms and release from chastity is widely variant.  Some subs earn release if they beg their Mistress sufficiently; others gain release if the sub performs specific tasks to an established level of performance.  Others chastity subs are on a pre-determined scheduled for releases.  Finally, some subs are in chastity forever.

The chastity forever may seem to be the harshest chastity sentence but i suggest that indefinite chastity may be even more difficult to endure for the sub.  Mistress Ayn desires indefinite chastity and i have pledged my commitment to being in chastity indefinitely.

Each morning i awake to the feel of my pink, hard plastic, Holy Trainer chastity cage around Mistress Ayn’s cock and balls, for She owes them.  i wonder immediately – is today the day Mistress Ayn will order me to remove the cage for edging, or a ruined orgasm, or an orgasm?  The latter occurs only very rarely.  But, most importantly, it is the not knowing that has the most impact on me and reminds me of Her total control over me as Her slaveboy – physically, psychologically, and sexually.

Subs in chastity forever know that they will never be released or orgasm outside their cage.  i simply do not know for certain.  Today may be the day that Mistress Ayn rewards me with release and orgasm or today may be another day where She rewards me with continuing to be Her chastity slave.  The uncertainty means Mistress Ayn is completely in control of Her cock and balls, Her chastity cage, and Her slave’s releases.

Indefinite chastity is the harshest of the chastity sentences and, honestly, i am delighted that this is what my Mistress, my Keyholder, desires to please Her the most.  i remain in chastity, indefinitely, in service to Mistress Ayn.

Mistress Ayn has customized chastity programs for the short term fetishist to the serious chastity submissive.

Distance slave training and online FemDom sessions

Online Slave Training

For those that can’t session in person or simply want to start or continue ongoing training via a digital format, the following online options are available. Click the links for more information about each program.

Online training works extremely well for a variety of submissive types and interests including chastity training, orgasm control,  JOI, cum play, anal training, cock sucking instruction, sissy dress up, exposure on Twitter (pre-negotiated), CBT instruction, Nipple Torture instruction, self administered punishments like paddling, face slaps, enemas, and pretty much anything else My kinky, devious mind can conjure.

Email Me at ayn@mistressayn.com to apply.

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Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #24

Installment #24 – My first overnight Hush training session  – by slaveboy jaime

The Hush is a vibrating anal plug that offers control at both close range and long distance.  This means that Mistress Ayn can order me to insert the Hush and play in the privacy of Her FemDom Mansion but also to take control when She is 700 miles away.  She can create patterns or order me to access established patterns of vibration at varying speed.  A few initial sessions showed me that the Hush was a safe, exhilarating, and addictive anal play toy.

The use of the Hush took a dramatic step forward when Mistress Ayn ordered me to insert the Hush late one night and then go to bed with my phone nearby.  She was able – at Her complete discretion – to access control of the Hush.  She decided when She would engage the Hush, what patterns would play, how long the patterns would play, and could exchange text messages with me during the play.

After i had drifted off to sleep for about an hour, i felt the pulsating Hush in my ass, now controlled by Mistress Ayn, awaking me to a completely new sensation.  Off and on for over an hour, Mistress Ayn would initiate and then stop different vibration patterns.  i never knew when She would start up a new pattern or how long She would allow a pattern to run.  i did not know when this early morning (starting around 1:30 am) would end or if it would ever end – the Hush has a long-lasting battery.

Besides the powerful physical sensations, having Mistress Ayn take control of my life through anal play was an awakening emotionally.  She controlled what i felt, the length of the stimulation and the type of stimulation.  i was reduced to simply reacting to Her sadistic whims, which i treasure and adore as Her slaveboy.

Step by step, in my life as Her slaveboy, Mistress Ayn has taken more intense control of me: initially by placing me in indefinite chastity, then ordering me to wear panties 24/7, then having my nipples pierced while visiting Her one day in Atlanta, and now by invading me through my ass and dictating the level of pleasure and discomfort in the middle of the night.

The rush of Her forceful control and my unlimited submissiveness was intense that first night of Hush play and had me eagerly awaiting if Mistress Ayn would continue this play the next night – She did not – or the following week.  Thus, i was forced to wait, only available to respond, never dictate or control.  i am addicted to being Her slaveboy and now that means being available to Her at any time overnight and submit to Her playful torture using the Hush.

Review of online distance training

These are different times.  For the time being, COVID-19 has put a crimp in the ability to do in person sessions.  During the lockdown it’s even been difficult for subs to find privacy to do phone and Skype sessions, but it doesn’t mean the need for submission has gone away.  If anything, shelter in place, has caused many people’s kink to resurface or get stronger.  As a stop gap measure, I started offering email/task sessions and amazingly both the participants and I have found it to be more fun than we anticipated.  The frequent check ins, the control during day to day activities and the general naughtiness of it has not only been entertaining but it has brought Me closer to many of My subs.

Sub john, a long time submissive that normally does monthly sessions, shared his experience and thoughts of his first two weeks of distance training.  The full review can be read on The Buzz.

I think think there are many lessons to be learned through adversity.  One I have learned is that it’s a good thing to explore new ways of connecting to My stable of submissives.  Phone, Skype and even email can bring us closer and enrich the relationship.  Going forward I plan to continue to offer limited distance training and connections via phone and Skype.

If you have been looking for a way to submit and are interested in distance training, take a look at My current online training options.

Atlanta Dominatrix offers distance training and online options for submission

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