Tag Archives: education

Chastity and the hormones connection

chasitity_cage

I love the idea of male chastity.  The practicalities are often a challenge and on this blog, you will find articles about chastity devices, experiences and so forth.  To add to the topic, I asked one of My sissy chastity subs to share his thoughts on hormones and their impact on chastity and vice versa.  Here are his fruits of his assignment:

My name is Sissy Jennifer and I am a chastity sub.  In my previous life, I did research on hormones—mostly estradiol and testosterone—so I am always talking to Mistress Ayn about the effects of hormones on my chastity.  Mistress Ayn asked me to write about hormones and chastity because she thought her blog readers might be interested.  Please note that what I wrote below applies to men, as the response of women to the same hormones may be different.

Although a myriad of hormones affects chastity, only three are of real importance.  The first hormone is dopamine or the “pleasure” hormone.  The intense pleasure associated with orgasm is caused by an extra burst of dopamine released in the brain.  High levels of dopamine are associated with well-being and a high libido. After an orgasm, dopamine levels drop dramatically, and it takes awhile for them to come back to normal.

The second hormone is prolactin or the “satiety” hormone.  Prolactin levels spike after an orgasm, and, in a sense, counteract high dopamine levels.  High prolactin levels are associated with lethargy, depression, and a low libido.  Like dopamine, it takes awhile for prolactin levels to decline back to normal. 

The release of prolactin isn’t good for relationships, so the body also produces a third hormone, oxytocin or the “cuddle” or “love” hormone.  High levels of oxytocin are associated with feelings of attachment and bonding.  Like dopamine, oxytocin is released in a burst after orgasm, but it doesn’t persist very long.

How does all of this mesh with a chastity sub?  Both dopamine and oxytocin rise during sexual arousal. The chastity device that a chastity sub wears contributes, in a modest way, to his low-level sexual arousal.  If a chastity sub is teased, then his dopamine and oxytocin levels increase even more.  In a best-case scenario, a chastity sub is kept in a state of relatively high sexual arousal.  This state helps explain the captioned image of a man in a chastity cage saying, “I prefer to keep it on” and why the expression “there is no denial without the tease” is true.  Neurologically, a chastity sub in a high state of sexual arousal grows to “enjoy” all the benefits of high dopamine and oxytocin, while avoiding the deleterious effects of prolactin. 

Product Review of Evotion Chastity Device

IMG_61344 out of 5 stars – ★★★★ 

Mistress Ayn asked me to review the Evotion chastity cage (evotionwearables.com).  First, a bit of background:  I have been a chastity sub since 2012.  Originally I wore a Jailbird from Mature Metal, which was fine because it is a custom-fitted device, but it was simply not secure enough.  In addition, I had continual problems with the weight of a “ball-capture” device (166 grams with lock).  For these reasons, I abandoned this design and opted for devices designed to enclose just the glans of the penis and some of the shaft.  The concept here is that the cage rests sufficiently snugly on the back of the glans to hold all the weight of device, while the piercing provides security and proper positioning.  I got a Prince Albert (PA) piercing, but inasmuch as I am not circumcised, I got a “go-through” piercing of my foreskin as well.  Chastity devices for PAs almost always state that they are for circumcised males only.  From this point on, I wore a Lustlock Penicap, which I liked because of its light weight (28 grams with a substituted plastic lock).  Unfortunately, the plastic device became brittle with cleaning and age, and eventually it became unwearable.  At this point, the Penicap had gone out of production.  I replaced the Penicap with a Steelworxx Tube Jacket 2, which is made almost entirely from stainless steel and weighs much more (103 grams) than a Penicap.  Despite being a custom-fitted device, it was impossible to keep sufficient weight off of the PA piercing.  Mistress Ayn suggested I try an Evotion chastity device because one of its models (Model Seven) is both lightweight and designed for a PA piercing.  In addition, the company uses 3D printer technology to yield a seam-free, custom-fitted device in a variety of colors.

After supplying all the proper measurements, I bought a Model Seven with an internal lock ($265).  As a proper sub, I ordered it in pink.  I received an email that I could expect the device in 6 weeks.  It took almost 9 weeks.  As expected, the fit is excellent and there is almost no weight on the piercing.  The four pieces of the device interlock together perfectly.  My device weighs 38 grams.  There is always some minor pinching when wearing it, but I ignore this pinching as something to remind me of who I am.  The manufacturer suggests that the device is “inescapable when used with the piercing”, but as anyone who wears a chastity device knows, the only inescapable chastity device is, paradoxically, no chastity device, where it is so disrespectful to the keyholder to escape that escape is never considered.  The Model Seven is easy to put on and remove, something I appreciate for sake of hygiene. Nylon is an excellent, durable plastic, but only time will tell if it will suffer the same fate as my Penicap.  The manufacturer recommends cleaning in warm water and vinegar for odor control, and nylon does degrade in acidic solutions.  My only real dislike is that I ordered it in pink and whoever made my device must be colorblind (see picture).  I would be hard-pressed to call the Model Seven beautiful, but it has worked well so far, and I am pleased–as much as any chastity sub could be pleased being in chastity–with my purchase.

 

All those pesky acronyms and abbreviations in BDSM

bus-1241459_1920For some reason kinksters love their acronyms.  Maybe it’s the need to be discrete in front of others or maybe it’s the geek in us wanting to have a secret lingo that only the “in crowd” understands.  Whatever the reason it can get cumbersome at times.  I remember a Domme texting Me once asking what NT meant.  A sub had listed his kinks in acronyms and she was drawing a blank on that one.  When I replied, “nipple torture”, she did the proverbial face palm.  Of course she knew what NT meant, but with all these to remember (plus subs occasionally make up their own) it can be difficult to recall them sometimes.

Recently on Twitter I announced that I was about to see a particular sub and listed the day’s menu in hashtag acronyms.  When he arrived at the dungeon he said he had been worrying all day what #SOT meant.  I pulled out My strap on and he got it – in more ways than one.

Below is a list some of the most common abbreviations used in Female Domination:

AB – Adult Baby
ATM – Ass to Mouth
BBW – Big Beautiful Woman
BDSM – Bondage & Discipline (BD) Dominance & submission (Ds) Sadism & Masochism (SM)
CBB – Cock and Ball Bondage
CBT – Cock and Ball Torture
CD – Crossdresser
CFNM – Clothed Female, Naked Male
CP – Corporal Punishment
Cuck – Cuckold
D/s – Dominant/submissive
FEMDOM – Female Domination
FT or FTT – Full Toilet or Full Toilet Training
GS – Golden Shower
NT – Nipple Torture
OTK – Over The Knee
RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink
SPH – Small Penis Humiliation
SOT – Strap On Training
SOW – Strap On Worship
SSC – Safe Sane Consensual
TPE – Total Power Exchange
TS – Trans Sexual
WS – Water Sports

Transformative Gender Experiences

DSC_5238bwwmeI have been asked to sit on a panel to discuss gender issues as they relate to kink.  So join Me Saturday, May 7th at Frolicon from 1:00pm – 2:15pm.  The panel will be run by a sociologist specializing in gender identity.

Panel description:

In this discussion we examine social research that explores how certain experiences can challenge our gender identities. From there we venture into how such gendered experiences can be incorporated into kink, helping us grow, evolve, and empathize with those of different genders than our own. A panel of kinksters will share their experiences on this topic and answer questions.

As a Dominatrix I interact with all kinds of kinksters that want to explore and push the limits of gender.  Those experiences range from simple humiliation through emasculation to sissy play to full on transgender.  So join Me as I participate with a panel of other kinksters to discuss and answer questions about this very current (and often controversial) topic.

Frolicon 2016 – Sheraton Downtown Atlanta, 165 Courtland Street NE, Atlanta, GA  30303.

Official Website – http://www.frolicon.com

 

 

 

Levels of Submission – Where are you?

A Mistress on Twitter tweeted a link to this article. The link is below, but it has some popups and weird messages, so I have copied the article below the link.

Here is the link if you care to go to it: http://www.oocities.org/undrcover23/nine/

NINE DEGREES OF SUBMISSION

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

The Nine Degrees of Submission are important to understand. Like any other relationship, there are boundaries. Think of the straight people you know. Sometimes the man rules the roost. Other times it’s the woman. But most always, one has a little more power than the other. It varies from couple to couple. So why is it that most gay and lesbian men and women expect our relationships to be completely 50/50? No other group is. Naturally, all humans have it programmed in their heads to be either Dominate or submissive on some level or another. Obviously, if you’re reading this, you don’t fall into the vanilla category, but you may not fall into the most extreme one either. I urge to read and understand each level and find where you fit in. Also remember, just because today you fit into say level 3, after proper training you may find you are level 7.

1. THE KINKY SENSUALIST – The kinky sensualist is not a trained sub. There is no servitude, humiliation or giving up control. This level is just “spiced up sensuality”. This is the first step beyond vanilla.

2. PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE – The Pseudo Submissive Non-Slave is not even into “playing” slave but into other submissive role-playing such as school teacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation inter-action to a large degree.

3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Pseudo-Submissive Play Slave likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; might, in some cases, like to feel one is being “used” to gratify partner. May even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the interaction to a large degree.

4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE – NON SLAVE – The True Submissive, Non-Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission, other than serving or being used by the dominant.
Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly his/her own direct pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing dominant).

5. SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Submissive Play Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily, within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys partner’s pleasure, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.

6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE – This slave really gives up control (usually within limits). Wants to serve and be enslaved by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of agreed
upon several days). May or may not have long term relationship. Either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he will serve.

7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL, BUT REAL SLAVE – This slave has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant’s property at all times. Wants to obey and please dominant in all aspects of life, practical/non-erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job, kids) but dominant has first pick of the slave’s free time. This is a live-in arrangement.

8. FULL TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE – Within no more that an few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards himself as existing solely for the Dom’s pleasure/well being. Slave expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual. Within the S/M world, a full time slave “arrangement” is entered into with explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements.

9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS – This is a common fantasy ideal. Probably doesn’t exist in real life (accept in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the consent is induced by social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few SM purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom, with no limits. This is the most difficult level to achieve, however; it is the most common fantasy. One would be required to cut off contact with his previous live including friends and family.

I would say that most subs I see professionally fall between 1 and 5. 5 is sort of the “sweet spot” for Me. 1s can end up being “kingsters” as I heard MIB refer to them and beyond 6 can be clingy and needy. That’s one Woman’s opinion. What is yours?  Join this discussion on The Buzz.

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