Tag Archives: advice

Edging into chastity – one sub’s perspective

20100731-05834-web-copyThis musing was written by one of My greedy little sluts (My gls) who will remain in his hiding place to the rest of the world.  All that matters is that he surfaces when he serves Me – which isn’t often enough for either of Us/us.

“Edging into Chastity. It may be your first telephone call or your forty-first email it makes no difference. Standing or sitting, you are still deciding whether to push the final button right up till when you either weaken or gain resolve. The push of the send button dispatching a carefully crafted email, or pressing that last number on your phone dials Her number. you are drawn to Her like a moth to a flame. you can never resist.

You meet Her criteria and are granted a session. It might be in 24 hours or two weeks, it doesn’t matter.

The time leading up to Your/your session is like the countdown to a rocket launch. You are in preparation mode now, driven by your own sense of preparedness, or better still following Her instructions to the letter.

As the clock moves you closer, your heartbeat increases and your mind wanders. You surreptitiously visit Her website, follow Her tweets, read Her blog, then the realization hits; you have already become Her sub, Her sissy, Her slut, Her slave and Her session is still three days away.

Suddenly you are standing in front of Her Dungeon pressing another button. This time the pressing of a button opens a door, a door that leads you into the dark secrets that you keep hidden from everyone but Her.

you step inside into the place where you most want to be. The door closes and in a matter of minutes She takes you from that place that you have always dreamed of, to a place She knows you need to be.

you were afraid of this happening and you wonder how She knew about that other place.”

Levels of Submission – Where are you?

A Mistress on Twitter tweeted a link to this article. The link is below, but it has some popups and weird messages, so I have copied the article below the link.

Here is the link if you care to go to it: http://www.oocities.org/undrcover23/nine/

NINE DEGREES OF SUBMISSION

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

The Nine Degrees of Submission are important to understand. Like any other relationship, there are boundaries. Think of the straight people you know. Sometimes the man rules the roost. Other times it’s the woman. But most always, one has a little more power than the other. It varies from couple to couple. So why is it that most gay and lesbian men and women expect our relationships to be completely 50/50? No other group is. Naturally, all humans have it programmed in their heads to be either Dominate or submissive on some level or another. Obviously, if you’re reading this, you don’t fall into the vanilla category, but you may not fall into the most extreme one either. I urge to read and understand each level and find where you fit in. Also remember, just because today you fit into say level 3, after proper training you may find you are level 7.

1. THE KINKY SENSUALIST – The kinky sensualist is not a trained sub. There is no servitude, humiliation or giving up control. This level is just “spiced up sensuality”. This is the first step beyond vanilla.

2. PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE – The Pseudo Submissive Non-Slave is not even into “playing” slave but into other submissive role-playing such as school teacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation inter-action to a large degree.

3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Pseudo-Submissive Play Slave likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; might, in some cases, like to feel one is being “used” to gratify partner. May even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the interaction to a large degree.

4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE – NON SLAVE – The True Submissive, Non-Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission, other than serving or being used by the dominant.
Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly his/her own direct pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing dominant).

5. SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Submissive Play Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily, within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys partner’s pleasure, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.

6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE – This slave really gives up control (usually within limits). Wants to serve and be enslaved by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of agreed
upon several days). May or may not have long term relationship. Either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he will serve.

7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL, BUT REAL SLAVE – This slave has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant’s property at all times. Wants to obey and please dominant in all aspects of life, practical/non-erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job, kids) but dominant has first pick of the slave’s free time. This is a live-in arrangement.

8. FULL TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE – Within no more that an few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards himself as existing solely for the Dom’s pleasure/well being. Slave expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual. Within the S/M world, a full time slave “arrangement” is entered into with explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements.

9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS – This is a common fantasy ideal. Probably doesn’t exist in real life (accept in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the consent is induced by social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few SM purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom, with no limits. This is the most difficult level to achieve, however; it is the most common fantasy. One would be required to cut off contact with his previous live including friends and family.

I would say that most subs I see professionally fall between 1 and 5. 5 is sort of the “sweet spot” for Me. 1s can end up being “kingsters” as I heard MIB refer to them and beyond 6 can be clingy and needy. That’s one Woman’s opinion. What is yours?  Join this discussion on The Buzz.

FAQ #21 – Why is aftercare important in BDSM play?

Ayn and stone

Aftercare is the “come down” part of a BDSM session.  It is important because the flood of endorphins caused by play often cause a rush or natural high that can lead to a subsequent crash if not properly addressed.  What aftercare consists of and how long it lasts will depend on the intensity of the session and your relationship with the submissive.

I always like to spend time with My submissives to help bring them down softly.  I tend to be nurturing after sessions, especially intense ones.  Soft strokes and soft words are My hallmark in post session interactions. It is important that the sub knows you are okay with him and his behavior during play.  I also advise My submissives to treat themselves kindly for at least the rest of the day and try to avoid stress and confrontations immediately after a BDSM play.

Product Review: Electro CBT Board from Current Pleasures

cock board

Electro CBT Board from Current Pleasures

3 out of 5 stars ★★★☆☆

I received this electro device as a gift about a year ago. I am a big believer in trying devices out on Myself before they ever touch a slave, but in some cases I just don’t have the equipment to do the testing.  So instead, I tried it out on Atlanta Dungeon’s house slave, toxie.  I am glad I did.

Overall the board gets the job done, but there a few things that need to be noted:

  1. The board comes in several sizes, so be sure to measure properly prior to ordering.  This is not a one size fits all toy.
  2. Much like a chastity device, it’s best that your sub is flaccid or semi-flaccid when putting on the device.  The balls, then the cock have to all go through that one hole.
  3. To get the most from the toy you will need a one banana jack to two banana jack splitter (not included).  Without this splitter all the electro on the cock is concentrated on one section (either primarily the cock base or primarily the head), not spread across both sections, which can make it too intense for some.
  4. Putting the device on can be cumbersome.  You may feel like you need more than two hands.  That is the nature of such devious toys.  Don’t be shy about asking your sub to help out.
  5. When screwing down the plastic screws, be careful that skin is not in direct contact with them.  Otherwise, skin can get caught in the grooves as they twist and cause pain and lacerations.
  6. Be careful when pushing the connectors into place.  Depending on the placement of the cock and balls, the jack can go all the way through to the other side of the board and pierce the skin.

I have used this device numerous times over the past year.  I’ve gotten faster at getting it in place, but it does take time, so it’s not ideal for short sessions.  It’s best used when you have time to enjoy the mindfuck of the process and the visual that results.  On the plus side, the board provides a nice vice like grip to the cock and balls while delivering current to the right areas and it looks absolutely awesome once it’s on.  Bottom line:  If you are an electro aficionado, go for it.  If the idea of ratcheting all those screws down makes you sweat – take a pass.

 

 

A long term sub talks about his training – A Review

Mistress Ayn
Long term D/s relationships have certain benefits. Among them is a higher level of trust that allows the Domme to push the submissive’s limits farther.  I understand that some subs what to “hop” from Domme to Domme, experiencing new things, but they will never enjoy the highest highs that a dedicated sub can achieve with his true Mistress.

This lengthy review helps put that into perspective – from the subs point of view.  Here are a few excerpts.  The full review can be read at The Mistress Review.  Reviews on that site are in date order, newest are last, so scroll to the bottom of the page to view.  It’s dated September 2015, by Anonymous.

“I have been serving Mistress Ayn for more than 5 years.  Sometimes We/we manage to session 3 times a year and sometimes just once. i don’t get to serve Mistress Ayn as much as i would like because i live a thousand miles from Atlanta, and my work no longer brings me as close to Her Dungeon as often as it should.  As a distance limited sub i have been enjoying overnight sessions to maximize my time in service . . . 

Eating dinner with a remote controlled vibrator in close proximity to ones more private parts and under the control Mistress Ayn is always memorable, and can be disconcerting (and extremely pleasurable).  This time it was suggested, and i agreed, that we would spend 5 hours in the Dungeon and then enjoy Our/our dinner in the afterglow of a great session. There would be no sub sleepover this time and no topping from the bottom.

I arrived on time and was greeted, as always, with a warm welcome and a brief catch up. I can’t imagine serving a Dominatrix for years and not having a strong and warm reconnection when seeing each other again.  Subs and sluts like me travel great distances to serve Mistress Ayn because of this long term bond that develops. i have served other Mistresses prior to Mistress Ayn but i have never felt such a strong connection both in and out of session. Those of you who are regulars will understand what I mean . . . 

Early on in Our/our relationship while i was in deep sub space, i remember Her asking me during strap-on play, in that sexy whisper that demands attention, if i would take her cock after it took me simply because it would give her pleasure and feed her needs.  All of you know what she was asking don’t you?  This sensuous dirty talk drives me deeper into her control . . .  When i first began serving Mistress Ayn, i had a list of limits and no go zones that was quite extensive. my list was based on fear, lack of trust and a lack of understanding.

Blindfolds – they used to be at the top of my list of never, ever going to happen. That was then, this is now and I am now hooded and blindfolded as Her mood strikes. Losing one sensation enhances the others, and this time i am left alone facing outward hooded and tied to the cross. Today I am also gagged with a ball gag.   I hear footsteps, two sets of footsteps.  Obviously Mistress Ayn has invited someone else to our session.  What happened next i can only leave to your imagination, but the encounter, totally directed by Mistress Ayn, not only put me in my place, it also left me reeling . . .

It is not just physical experience with Mistress Ayn, it is her constant talking to you, Her slut, as She takes you and owns you that makes this experience so unique and powerful. Many of Her subs and sluts may have partners,  but all of us know that Mistress Ayn truly owns us.

Lots of sluts and subs want to experience a strap-on but in my experience few Mistress are actually any good at it, or get pleasure from it. Mistress Ayn is an expert and as a subscriber to Ayn Rules when i watch her in a strap-on scene i am taken right back to the many sessions i have had with her . . . 

Within minutes, hours, days (who knows) I am writhing on the edge of ecstasy from Her fingers on my nipples.  Things stop and I feel something being slipped over me, i am now meeting for the first time Mistress Ayn’s Venus 2000. The ride begins and it is so amazing and so intense. Mistress Ayn controls this machine like a Formula One driver controls their car. i am brought to the edge many times and then pulled back . . . “

What followed was aftercare and a lovely dinner where we caught up and then discussed the session – our favorite parts, his greatest fears and the future of his training.  Long term relationships with subs that are willing to let their Mistress lead are a win-win situation.  Isn’t that what we all want?

Sign up for My eMail List