Category Archives: Education

Let’s make 2024 the year of the submissive

Let’s shake things up a bit this year. I did that last year with a move to Europe and it’s only been positive.  This year is your year to make some changes and get out of your rut.  I suggest you embrace your submissive/feminine side and see just how good a submissive you can be.  Submission may just set you free.

If you have gotten out of the habit of seeing a Domme in real life, I can help with that.  Let’s start with some distance training and then I will send you to a reputable Domme I trust – if I can’t see you Myself.

If you have gotten into an indulgent cycle with anything from food to masturbation, I can help with that too.  Dommie knows best and I can create a task or chastity program that can get you on the right track – or else.

Has a lack of Female leadership left you feeling out of sorts?  Then submit, serve, learn and be tested – and yes, we can do much of this from a distance.

So let 2024 be the year of the submissive.  Contact Me direct about any questions or logistics – ayn@mistressayn.com.  Or do some investigating here.

Keep up with all My activities on Loyal Fans.  Sign up is FREE.

A Male Companion’s Shibari Experience – by Simon Benn

Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/bergslay-1151140/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=7563246">German Rojas</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=7563246">Pixabay</a>

Image by German Rojas from Pixabay

My First Time Experiencing Shibari—Japanese Rope Play – By Simon Benn

As I entered the dimly lit room, my heart was racing with excitement and nerves. I had always been curious about Shibari—the Japanese rope play, and finally, I had the opportunity to experience it for myself. First, I was welcomed by the rope domina, who introduced herself and explained the basic principles of Shibari.

She emphasized the importance of consent, communication, and trust between partners, which set a safe and comfortable atmosphere for the scene. As I felt the soft ropes tied around my body, I surrendered myself to the sensations, letting go of my thoughts and surrendering to the moment. The intricate knots and patterns created around me both restricted and liberated me, taking me on an intense journey of physical and emotional pleasure.

Long story short, this was my first encounter with this incredible Japanese rope play. Now, in this brief article, I will explain what Shibari is all about, how to prepare for it, and share a glimpse of my experience with you all.

 

What Is This Japanese Rope Play?

Shibari is a form of BDSM that involves tying up a partner using ropes for aesthetic and sensual purposes. It is a highly physical and intimate activity that requires trust, communication, and consent between partners.

The ropes themselves can be used to create various patterns and designs, each with its unique sensation and aesthetic. The experience of being tied up in Shibari can be both liberating and empowering, allowing one to surrender control and let go of their thoughts. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or just starting, the world of Shibari is full of exciting possibilities. Here’s how to do it.

 

Find A Trusting Partner

Shibari is an intimate and physically demanding activity, so finding the right partner is crucial. Whether you are a beginner or have experience, it is essential to play with someone you can trust and connect with. There are various ways to find a partner for Shibari, including:

  • Experienced partner. You may want to look for someone already experienced in Shibari who can guide you through the experience. An experienced partner can also bring a new level of excitement and creativity to your play.
  • Learning together. If you’re both new to Shibari, you might want to find a partner willing to learn with you. This can be a fun and exciting way to discover the art of Shibari together and grow as partners.
  • Companion Service. You can also consider using a female or a male professional that offers Shibari services. This is a convenient option for those who want to experience Shibari without the commitment or emotional involvement of a romantic relationship. It is essential to ensure that the escort is reputable and follows all the safety guidelines for Shibari play.

Regardless of your approach, it’s essential to communicate openly with your partner about your preferences, limits, and boundaries before engaging in Shibari play. By finding the right partner, you can ensure that your experience with Shibari is both safe and enjoyable.

 

Consent And Communication Are Essential

Communication and consent are essential components of the BDSM play Shibari, just as they are with any other BDSM play. Therefore, before engaging in any kind of rope play, it is necessary to lay down some ground rules and come up with some code words.

Make sure that the activity is something that both you and your partner feel comfortable doing and that everyone involved has given their complete consent for the activity. Additionally, communication should not stop once the play has begun. It is essential to check in with your partner regularly during the play and make sure everyone is still comfortable and enjoying the activity.

Also, after the fun is over, it’s essential to have a debriefing session where both partners can discuss what they liked, what they didn’t like, and what they would like to do differently in the future.

 

Learning The Appropriate Techniques And Taking The Necessary Safety Precautions

Before beginning Shibari, it is essential to learn the appropriate techniques and take the necessary precautions. This will help reduce the likelihood of injury and ensure that you and your partner have an experience that is both enjoyable and safe to participate in. You can get started with Shibari with the assistance of a large number of resources and classes that are available online.

 

Supplies And Equipment

Make sure you have all of the necessary supplies and equipment before you begin. You will need safety scissors, rope (preferably made of hemp or jute), and any other BDSM equipment that either you or your partner might want to use.

 

Getting Started With The Play

You will be able to begin exploring Shibari as soon as you have gathered all of the necessary supplies and equipment. Begin with straightforward knots, and work your way up to more intricate patterns as you gain experience. Pay close attention to how your partner responds to the environment, and make it a habit to check on them frequently to ensure that they are both secure and comfortable.

 

Final Thoughts

When I first heard about Shibari, I was intrigued by the idea of incorporating ropes into my BDSM play. I was excited to try it, but I knew I had to approach it with caution and respect to maximize the experience. That’s why I made sure to do my research, pick a reliable partner, establish clear boundaries, and gather all the necessary supplies and equipment. Exploring the world of Shibari can be done in a manner that is both risk-free and enjoyable if you keep these tips in mind.

 

Honest Review of the Hush Bluetooth Butt Plug by Lovense

Five years ago I reviewed the Hush remote butt plug favorably – My opinion has changed.

See it here on YouTube.  Or here on Loyal Fans and Only Fans.

Paraphilias vs Fetishes – what is the difference?

Is a shoe fetish a paraphilia? Are all paraphilias fetishes? What is a paraphilia anyway? We discuss it all in this short but informative Kink 101 clip.

 

Click the photo to play on YouTube.

Interview with Simone Justice on the ethics of BDSM public play

Just before Dom Con New Orleans in 2019, Simone Justice asked if She could interview Me regarding My thoughts on public play.  She was preparing to lead a DomCon Parade down Bourbon Street and the topic of public play, consent and ethics came up.  I don’t think this interview was ever published so I thought I would post it here.

SJ: What is your opinion as to the limits of public play?

MA: I love public play, but it means different things to different people. Some people think the simple act of wearing a visible collar is public play. Others don’t consider play to be public unless it’s more of a scene. It’s important to understand the limits of the person you are playing with in each situation. My only real limit to what I will do in public has to do with the respect of people that could view the play. I don’t like to involve people that haven’t consented and might find what I do with a submissive offensive.

SM: What do you do with your own clients in public?

MA: I have done all kinds of discreet and indiscreet public play. I’ve had shoe fetishists put shoes on me in a shoe store. I’ve taken sissies to have bra fittings at lingerie stores, mani/pedis, in store makeover, etc. I’ve wired subs up with electro or remote plugs and stimulated them in public with no one the wiser. I’ve also done full blown scenes in kink friendly venues.

SJ: What would you never do in public with a client?

MA: I would never do anything that was offensive to on lookers. I’ve outgrown the need for shock value. If I am going to do something with a sub that might offend a shop employee, I call ahead first and clue them in. It’s amazing how often people are good sports and will play into your scene if you just give them the respect of letting them know what is going on. Anything done in front of children that would require an explanation from parents is definitely off limits.

SJ:  How did you develop your rules of what you will do in public?

MA:  Experience. It just evolved over time. I’ve learned the most from listening to my subs and what their concerns are and I understand that everyone’s limits are different.

SJ: Have your limits changed over the years?

MA: Absolutely. I used to have little regard for the “vanillas”. When I was less mature as Domme I found it fun to shock the public. Now I just see it as disrespectful to those not a part of the scene and disrespectful to the concept of BDSM in general.

SJ: Anything else you would like to say about The Ethics of Public Play?

MA: There are tons of opportunities to play in public if you handle it correctly. Consider your surroundings and act accordingly. A venue like Bourbon Street is very different from the neighborhood mall on Saturday. For many subs it is about the idea that things are happening to them in public whether anyone else is aware of it or not. Don’t push the envelope so far that you end up giving BDSM a bad name. BDSM is about consent. Everyone’s consent. Not just you and your play partner.

 

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