I was recently interviewed by the staff at Tryst. If you were ever curious about some of the more random things in My life and career this is a good place to start. I dish to the following questions and more:
For answers, to these and other questions, visit the Tryst site.
The Submissive Male’s Guide to the Perfect Self-administered Ruined Orgasm
A ruined orgasm for a submissive male is one of the most intensely pleasurable, toe-curling, sweat-inducing, back-arching, fist-clenching, teeth-gnashing, brain-bending endeavors a submissive male can experience to drive him into an animal sexual frenzy. One of the biggest misconceptions about ruined orgasms comes from the word “ruined.” It sounds like torture or something a submissive male might do to himself only for punishment. But, it could be a way to experience ecstasy, delight and have one of the biggest and best orgasms he has ever had in his entire life.
The name is misleading in that a properly ruined orgasm is STILL an orgasm! Yet, it does feel profoundly different to the submissive male, but it still feels great, yet in a different way than a normal orgasm. The perfect ruined orgasm is a special kind of climax, achieved in a very specific way that triggers a different sequence of physical, emotional, and hormonal reactions in the submissive male’s body. To a male accustomed to and expecting normal orgasms, the sudden surprise of new and different sensations might be confusing in his hyper-aroused brain by causing unexpected disappointment. The submissive male is expecting one thing – a powerful climax, but at the last second, he gets something different. A ruined orgasm does not tell the submissive male’s brain to release any of the hormones associated with the post-orgasmic “afterglow,” such as prolactin and oxytocin. Dopamine levels remain elevated throughout the body. Instead of feeling sluggish and exhausted after an orgasm, the submissive male remains aroused and sexually frustrated after ruining the orgasm. Rarely would a male ruin his own orgasm, but a submissive male, under the strict control or directions of a Mistress, different sensations and motivations occur.
There are a few important things that enable a submissive male to have a “perfect” (or as close to that as possible) ruined orgasm.
First, often associated with the perfect ruined orgasm is extended pleasure. One possible path for the submissive male to take is to perform, possibly at the direction of a Mistress, repeated (four to six consecutive days), prolonged (from 15 to 30 minutes) stop-and-start stimulation. This is commonly known as edging. This seems to charge up the submissive male and his cock to a higher sensitivity and definitely a greater yearning for an orgasm, any orgasm.
Second, unlike a normal orgasm, with a ruined orgasm all stimulation stops as the ejaculation begins to build. And this is the tricky part, the stroking of the cock toward an orgasmic explosion needs to terminate at a critical moment. If you wait until the sperms starts its path through the urethra, it’s too late. Stopping at the height of the build up but before you teeter over that edge is critical and this is where many would be “ruiners” fail, by stroking too long, either out of ignorance or lack of control.
To achieve a “perfect” ruined orgasm, keen attention must be given to the signals from the submissive male’s body, particularly as his stroking leads to what could be “THE” climactic end to the edging, but making sure to stop the stroking before the climax actually occurrs. There is a critical point when more stroking would achieve orgasm. It takes all of the submissive male’s willpower and desire to please his Mistress to submit and follow Her orders – when a ruined orgasm only is permitted.
The submissive male needs to train himself to give himself a perfect ruined orgasm. He needs to know his body very, very well. He needs to study his specific sequence of escalating physical pleasure signals, to identify the first possible moment in the sequence where he can let go and cause himself to still cascade through climax. Arched back, tensed muscles, grunts, whimpers, pulsing cock, retracted balls–every submissive male has his signals. Leaking pre-cum is an excellent signal for the submissive male to become aware of if hoping to achieve a ruined orgasm. Instead of letting go “at the last second,” the submissive male actually wants to let go as early as possible. He needs to hang, untouched, on the verge of climax, for as long as physically possible, before his body reflexively sends him over. If done correctly, the perfect ruined orgasm results in his sperm to just dribble out, under weak contractions, if at all. The submissive male should desire and seek to extend that “hangtime” just before ejaculation to be as long as possible.
Sadly, but understandable, the submissive male typically misjudges his own point-of-no-return. It is probably long before he says it is. The problem is he is in a mindless pleasure-trance when stroking toward orgasm. The submissive male is not the most reliable person at that point but needs to train himself to become more sensitive and attentive to achieve the perfect self-administered ruined orgasm.
Ample loads of sperm may be released from the submissive male’s cock during a ruined orgasm, especially if not allowed to orgasm for an extended time, but not with the intensity of a normal orgasm. If successful, the male’s sperm is only released through a dribbling out of the cock (not a powerful spurting like a normal orgasm) or by “forcing” the sperm out by firmly but gently squeezing the cock by forming a circle with his thumb and forefinger and running his two fingers from the base of his cock to the tip in a milking action.
Why is a ruined orgasm so special? In a normal orgasm, the male hits his peak of pleasure, then comes crashing down in a wonderful, violent torrent of release, followed by an involuntary rest-and-recharge time called the “refractory period.” He feels a warm, satisfying wash of hormones. Then his cock goes limp and his entire body instinctively commands him to rest and recover.
In a ruined orgasm, the submissive male hits his peak of pleasure, tips just barely over the edge, but the violent crash is not triggered. It is not triggered because the expected physical stimulation is absent. Weak muscle contractions struggle to squeeze the cum from his body. He feels an electric tremor throughout his body, distinctly different from the warm wash of a normal orgasm. Importantly, the sense of satisfaction never triggers. The submissive male had an orgasm and he unloaded some cum, but he feels “unfinished.” Despite having released his load, the submissive male is exceptionally horny and frustrated, not exhausted and satisfied as with a normal orgasm, and is likely still erect. While his balls are drained, he did not have the sensation of having an orgasm.
There may be many reasons why a submissive male would attempt to have the “perfect ruined orgasm.”
Some submissive males are turned on with this kind of play – the control exerted by a Mistress, the using of his cock for Her pleasure and not his, and the continued sexual frustration which does not occur after a normal orgasm. The male remains as before the ruined orgasm, hanging on his Mistress’s every command, ready and willing to obey Her.
A ruined orgasm is different and something a male would not choose on his own. As a submissive, the male relinquishes all control to his Mistress, She makes the decisions and orders him to do something that he likely would not have initiated. A Mistress might allow Her submissive male the pleasure of a normal orgasm or may decide to have him endure a ruined orgasm – it is completely under Her control.
A ruined orgasm causes the submissive male to focus on pleasing his Mistress, not achieving his own pleasure. As a true submissive, the male’s thoughts and actions should be about his Mistress, not himself.
Masturbation, something a male may do all too frequently before becoming submissive to his Mistress, would allow him total control – when to start, how long to stroke, when to finish, and how to finish. The ruined orgasm is the quintessential giving up of control and trusting in his Mistress to make all of the decisions, especially on how to finish the stroking session.
Finally, prolonged chastity without any release can be problematic for a submissive male’s health. A Mistress should be sensitive to that and a ruined orgasm serves to provide the submissive male with the medical benefits of draining his balls, while not providing him with the pleasure associated with a normal orgasm. Like milking the prostate, the ruined orgasm is beneficial for the submissive male’s health.
Distance Training with Atlanta Dominatrix Mistress Ayn
With social distancing still putting a damper on in person BDSM sessions, many subs are asking, “What’s a cam session like?”. The real answer is there is no “typical” cam session but here are some things that I have done:
The above are just a few specifics that come to mind. Chastity is also a great option for play and obviously self directed CBT, spanks, nipple play, orgasm control and such are staples for a video session. If you have your own toys, great. If not, we can make do with what you have sitting around the house or office.
If you know Me, you know I have a fabulous imagination. Just because we are limited by distance doesn’t mean that I can’t control you and be entertained by you. Miss sessioning with Me? Do the next best thing and schedule a video session via Skype, Zoom or Facetime today.
Tributes: 30 minutes = $90, one hour = $170
Installment #24 – Indefinite Chasity – May Be the Harshest Chastity Sentence of All – by slaveboy
From my investigations, chastity sentences take on many different forms and release from chastity is widely variant. Some subs earn release if they beg their Mistress sufficiently; others gain release if the sub performs specific tasks to an established level of performance. Others chastity subs are on a pre-determined scheduled for releases. Finally, some subs are in chastity forever.
The chastity forever may seem to be the harshest chastity sentence but i suggest that indefinite chastity may be even more difficult to endure for the sub. Mistress Ayn desires indefinite chastity and i have pledged my commitment to being in chastity indefinitely.
Each morning i awake to the feel of my pink, hard plastic, Holy Trainer chastity cage around Mistress Ayn’s cock and balls, for She owes them. i wonder immediately – is today the day Mistress Ayn will order me to remove the cage for edging, or a ruined orgasm, or an orgasm? The latter occurs only very rarely. But, most importantly, it is the not knowing that has the most impact on me and reminds me of Her total control over me as Her slaveboy – physically, psychologically, and sexually.
Subs in chastity forever know that they will never be released or orgasm outside their cage. i simply do not know for certain. Today may be the day that Mistress Ayn rewards me with release and orgasm or today may be another day where She rewards me with continuing to be Her chastity slave. The uncertainty means Mistress Ayn is completely in control of Her cock and balls, Her chastity cage, and Her slave’s releases.
Indefinite chastity is the harshest of the chastity sentences and, honestly, i am delighted that this is what my Mistress, my Keyholder, desires to please Her the most. i remain in chastity, indefinitely, in service to Mistress Ayn.
Mistress Ayn has customized chastity programs for the short term fetishist to the serious chastity submissive.