Author Archives: Mistress Ayn

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Finding to correct way to say “I love You, Mistress”

Wednesday, 30 March 2022 20:16
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Installment #36 – Finding to correct way to say “I love You, Mistress” by slaveboy jaime

Recently, i have felt a greater commitment and devotion to my Mistress, Mistress Ayn, yet words have failed me in my effort to clearly express what it is that i truly feel.  In my quest for understanding i turned to the Ancient Greeks – odd? perhaps! – to find clarity.

The Greeks have seven different words for love, each expressing a different sentiment.  Most commonly, people say “I love you” and mean “eros.”  Eros speaks of a romantic love, a feeling of passion.  This may be common among partners in a loving relationship, such as a wife and husband, or girlfriend and boyfriend.  But that misses the mark for my feelings as a submissive and my Mistress Ayn.

There is “phila” or a love between friends.  i feel that toward other Mistresses and Goddesses i have met and served at the FemDom Mansion or Atlanta Dungeon.  i treasure these relationships and love serving Them.  Yet, again not the special type of love i have for my Mistress Ayn.

“Storge” comes closer since it expresses a love that in unconditional and relational.  i am unconditionally committed to my Owner, Mistress Ayn, and will do whatever She orders me.  But, still not quite on point for my feeling of “love” toward Mistress Ayn.

Then i found it – “agape.”  Agape is a love that is typically reserved for a universal love, the love one has for a God (or in this case, a Goddess).  It is a love between unequals.  Yes, that is it – “Agape” – the proper expression of my love for my Mistress.  Agape is the deep felt expression of my devotion, a willingness to completely surrender to Her, to be or do whatever She wants or needs from me – slave, sissy, bitch, servant, and so many more roles.  Agape is how i understand Her role in my life, as my Mistress, Owner, Keyholder, Teacher and so many more.

Agape – i love You, Mistress Ayn. – slaveboy

Review of double session with Goddess Samantha

Monday, 21 March 2022 20:15
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Goddess Samantha and I have known each other for many years and we are friends in and out of the Dungeon.  We love playing together and it shows.  So when Her “wolverine” asked to serve us both, I was delighted.  A little background on wolverine;  he loves heavy corporal sessions and Goddess Samantha named him wolverine because he recovers so quickly.  I had been wanting a piece of him since I first saw clips of them together.  I must say, he did not disappoint,

Some photos are below and a full review of the session is posted on Domina.ms.

Here are a few of My favorite snippets:

“On to the spanking bench, feet and hands secured. Strap around waist and collar hooked to bench, I wasn’t going anywhere. A large selection of spoons, straps, brushes, and paddles were ready, including two metal paddles, my pair of vintage tawses, and a cable hockey puck paddle. Samantha started in with her monogrammed leather strap attempting to brand her name on my ass, things escalated quickly.”

“At one point Samantha was swinging two handed with her large studded paddle, Ayn in front, hands on my shoulders presumably to keep me and the bench from flying across the room. Serious PAIN! Quite an arm on Samantha muscle. Side note-Mistress Ayn may suffer from OCD, she mercilessly beat one cheek in an effort to match the other.”

“Plain and simply an incredible scene, everyone just ‘clicked’ from start to finish. I’ve played with a long list of Dommes, and it’s a very short list of those I would play with again. Mistress Ayn joined Goddess Samantha on that very short list. Thank You Ladies for an UNFORGETTABLE experience!!!” – wolverine

Paraphilias vs Fetishes – what is the difference?

Sunday, 20 February 2022 19:44
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Is a shoe fetish a paraphilia? Are all paraphilias fetishes? What is a paraphilia anyway? We discuss it all in this short but informative Kink 101 clip.

 

Click the photo to play on YouTube.

Double sessions with submissive Blake August

Wednesday, 16 February 2022 19:03
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The Return of Cougar and kitten sessions

TWO DAYS ONLY – March 1st and 4th

It’s been a while since I have had a submissive female available for sessions, so I am doubly pleased that My friend Blake August has some availability in her schedule.

This is a very limited opportunity, so secure your booking now while you can.

  • 90 minute minimum – $800
  • 2 hours – $1050

Blake is not a masochist but she can take a good spanking.  Her strong suit is her sensuality and downright naughtiness.  I am going to love using her to tease you.

You can see Blake is some of My films, here.

To schedule, email Me at ayn@mistressayn.com   A completed application and a deposit are necessary to book.

Three Years in Chastity: “Mission Accomplished”

Sunday, 13 February 2022 19:07
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In the continuation of the Trials and Tribulations of a chastity slave chronicles, slaveboy reminisces about orgasms . . .

The three-year anniversary of my “indefinite” chastity caused me to reflect on a fading memory — orgasms.  Before chastity, i orgasmed when i felt the urge – about twice or thrice a week. i really do not remember those days, (as You like to say Mistress Ayn: “Mission Accomplished!”).  Then, as Your chaste slaveboy, i would look forward to the days whenever You would permit an orgasm.

Recently things have changed – orgasms are permitted whenever You wish to have them happen and under Your control (“Mission Accomplished!”).  And, a new twist – they rarely involve my stroking to a satisfying orgasm.  Your plan seems to have me orgasm JUST often enough for me to remember what You have taken away from me (“Mission Accomplished!”).  Orgasms are now just another one of Your many ways to control me, sometimes reward me, and even sometimes they are used to punish (“Mission Accomplished!”).

There is no pattern, for that would allow me to anticipate.  At the end of 2020, You had me orgasm at the stroke of the new year. The next year You casually signed off in Your last email, informing me that “I am off until Monday.”  No orgasm to end the year, keeping me unbalanced and submissive (“Mission Accomplished!”).

In 2019 and 2020, i was permitted “release” 19 times and 18 times, respectively.  For 2021, that number plummeted to 12 – a 35% drop.  i see where this is going: fewer releases, farther and farther apart, making it harder to remember orgasms, and You exerting more control (“Mission Accomplished!”).

And a new element, merely 12 releases, yet only FIVE “real orgasms,” when i was allowed to touch Your cock and bring myself to a satisfying orgasm.  THREE times a ruined orgasm, stroking but stopping just short of a satisfying release. THREE times a forced orgasm – release but no physical touch Your cock, but using a vibrator.  And, ONCE a forced, ruined orgasm – no physical touching and stopping before ejaculation.  You are a creative Mistress and apparently One with a plan – fewer releases and even fewer the old-fashion way = jerking off to ejaculation (“Mission Accomplished!”).

Is there a lesson here?  Yes.  You are in control, it is not about me, my needs, or my pleasure (“Mission Accomplished”). It is about Your pleasure.  My less frequent releases seem to please You, with new twists and turns, and less satisfaction.  i gladly embraced this new training.  You have trained me well, oh wise Mistress.  – slaveboy jaime

 

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