With a heavy heart, I bring news of Michael’s (aka Ayn’s Toy and Wheelz) death. He was taken from us suddenly and the sun has seemed a little dimmer ever since. Michael touched the lives of so many in our community with his kind words, encouragement and humor. He was a joy and an inspiration to all that knew him.

On May 2nd of this year, I put a collar on Michael’s neck, acknowledging his status of belonging.  It was not a commitment either of us took lightly.  He made Me proud in so many ways and I believe he would say it completed him.  In Me, and our community, he found a safe place – a place he said felt like home.  I loved him for that and so much more.  It breaks My heart that I won’t be able to celebrate our anniversary with him next year.

For Michael, submissiveness was not a persona he took out of the closet and chose to wear when it suited him.  Our time together was not about what I could do to him or for him, but what he could do for Me and that is where he took his real pleasure.  He was the real deal and that is rare.

There were so many beautiful things about Michael, but one that always amazed Me was how he dealt with his injury and the confinement to a chair.  I never knew him to be bitter or have self pity.  He almost made you forget his limitations and his self deprecating humor stopped any awkwardness you might feel in his presence.

He touched many lives in this community by giving of himself;  always quick to lift someone up, congratulate them and counsel them when they were down.  He literally “made” the online community that many of us are a part of and he will leave a void not easily filled.  I for one will miss him forever.

Go in peace My toy.

“Thank you for being a part of my life … For picking me up when I needed it.. for allowing me to do the same for you… For finding the perfect gif to “win” our banter.. . For being the centerpiece of our group of friends that play on here… You will be forever missed.”- asp

“He was one of the first people who helped me become comfortable in the kink community. Always helpful and always up for a good joke. This hurt me more than most would expect since I never met him in person. I had hoped to one day but now I can’t. I’m glad to have met him.” – n_ikkbell

“Michael will be missed, his humor,wit and advice always brought more than was given. One of the best . My heart and thoughts are with all who knew him.” – rob aka elf

“The banter back and forth on here will be missed. I offer my hugs. The loss is going to sting much more, and much deeper, than any tool can give.” – claudia f

“This was heartbreaking  news to get the other day from my Domme Sister/Bestie. I had the privilege of knowing Michael over the years. He is a kind, gentle soul. One of the good guys and gone too soon It is heart wrenching! I have been reflecting over the last few days to honor him.” – Goddess Samantha

“He was and will be a special ‘brother'”. . . – slaveboy jaime

“Truly painful loss of a great person and sub”. – Mistress Ultra Violet

“AynsToy and I became friends several years ago and shared our love for BBQ, guns and fast cars. My ’63 Vette and his Dodge Hellcat. We shared many lunches and found we had many things in common. He was an exceptional man; loving,caring, fun-loving, kind to a fault.  To him I offer this poem by John Gillespie Magee in 1941. Sounds just like AynsToy.” – Ayn’s pet (aka paddles)

 

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds,- and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of- wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless hall of air . . .
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew-
And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee 1941