Category Archives: FAQ

FAQ #18 – How is humiliation used in a BDSM or D/s session?

Mistress Ayn & Switch GiannaFirst of all, there is a big difference in erotic humiliation and ordinary humiliation. In BDSM we use erotic humiliation to press a subs buttons and the end effect is to make them feel naughty and aroused. Calling someone, fat, stupid, old, etc, is usually not part of erotic humiliation and won’t elicit the desired effect.

Each person is unique and I recommend that humiliation be used gingerly with a new play partner. One person’s turn on is another’s turn off and humiliation scenes, like all other scenes should be well negotiated. Some men are very turned on when a Female Dominant pronounces their penis too small for proper sex with a woman – and their little peckers get rock hard at the idea of being evaluated and judged in this way. For others, it’s a buzz kill, so it’s important to know what turns your sub on and what areas are off limits.

Examples of humiliation used in Domme/sub sessions are:

  • Verbal humiliation – name calling, beratement, racial slurs, mockery, etc.
  • Forced feminization – as simple as being made to wear panties to full female transformations
  • Animal play – forced to wear a leash, drink from a dog bowl, etc.
  • Public display – embarrassing public acts or displays
  • Cum eating
  • Ass worship / foot worship – some see this as a reward, others feel degraded by it
  • Cuckolding – combination of verbal insults about manhood and degrading acts
  • Objectification – treated as unimportant – being used as a foot stool, as an example
  • Forced masturbation/orgasm
  • Enemas
  • Spanking – yes, for some getting a simple spanking is humiliating

As you can see from this non-exhaustive list, erotic humiliation is a very diverse and personalized form of play. Humiliation can push buttons psychologically that send a sub deeper into subspace or send them reeling in raw emotion, so know your sub well, make sure safe words are in place and pay very close attention to your subs reactions to everything you hurl at them.

FAQ #16 – How do I get to know you better before we session?

One of the best ways to get a feel for what it is like to session with Me is to read My many reviews.  Reading reviews allows you to live sessions vicariously through other subs eyes.  your interests may not always mesh perfectly, but with enough reading, you should be able to determine if we are compatible.

If you want to take things to the next level, talk to Me.  I have a NiteFlirt line set up just for casual conversation so we can discuss your kinks, experiences, limits, etc.  If you want to get a feel for what it’s like to actually be under My control, call one of My session lines and let’s do a phone session.  It’s often a challenge to randomly find Me on NiteFlirt, so feel free to email Me to set a specific date/time to talk.  If you don’t want to set up a NiteFlirt account, ask Me about arranging a direct call.

Mistress Ayn NiteFlirt

 

FAQ #17 – Does BDSM play with urethral sounds hurt?

SoundsUrethral sounds are actually medical devices designed to stretch the urethra, primarily to remove obstructions or allow for the passing of kidney stones. Not very sexy, huh? Well, they can be. I have no idea who or when the first person was to decide, hey, this could be a kinky thing to do, but someone did and many find the process pleasurable. As a Dominant, the idea of violating that specific hole is a turn on. A power trip. As a bottom or sub, you either like the way it feels or you don’t. Many men find it very erotic and many have described the feeling as “being fucked from the inside”. Some say the sensation is similar to masturbation, only more intense. Others find it uncomfortable and unpleasant. It just depends on the individual.

Part of the thrill of sounds for a sub is the absolute power exchange. How more out of control can you be than to be tied down and made to watch a Dominatrix insert a steel stick into your cock? For some it is the ultimate CBT.   For others it is purely erotic. It is common to hear that the first orgasm after sounding is explosive and particularly intense. With today’s devices made specifically for BDSM play, there is something for almost everyone. The standard medical sounds themselves come in several different shapes and achieve different sensations. In addition there are silicone sounds which are flexible, vibrating sounds and even electrified sounds.

Sounds play is not for beginners and before playing with a Dominant, make sure they know their business. If done improperly, there is risk of irritation or tearing of the urethral lining. Scar tissue may be encountered that may cause discomfort or bleeding – although usually not serious, this can be alarming. There is also risk of infection if the sounds are not properly sanitized or if unsafe practices are used that allow contamination. Sounds play can be great fun for both the Domme and the sub, but it is a type of play where experience matters.

FAQ #8 – What is cuckolding fantasy?

Mistress Ayn Cuckoldressyou may have seen Cuckolding listed as one of My interests and not fully known what it meant.  Well, here you go . . .

Traditionally cuckold has been a derogatory term for a man with an adulterous wife.  Today the term cuck and cuckolding take on new life in the fetish community.  Cuckolding fetish is a consensual act that involves the female half of a couple taking a lover with the knowledge of her partner.  In a symbiotic way, all parties derive sexual pleasure from the experience.

Let’s look at the players:  The female, sometimes called the Hotwife or Cuckoldress, is physically attractive and in theory can attract any lover she chooses.  She may be sexually insatiable.  The chosen lover (aka the bull) often exhibits physical traits that are used to intimidate the cuck (the male that is being “cheated on”).  For instance, the bull usually has a much larger cock.  He may also be in better physical shape and/or younger than the cuck.  Conversely the bull is usually depicted as being from a lower socio-economic background, have a lesser job (i.e. the pool boy) and in general have a lower social standing than the cuck.  This often adds to the cuck’s humiliation.  In addition, the cuck and the Cuckoldress may get off on her objectifying the bull.

Is this a turn on?  For many people, YES.  Why cuckolding is becoming so popular in modern culture is stirring lots of debate – but for Me the appeal is quite simple.  As a Dominatrix I see cuckolding as just another form of masochism.  It is also the perfect venue for the Female Dominant to exercise Her control over Her two males at the same time.

In session, I use cuckolding fantasy to mentally mindfuck a willing submissive.  I may tell him how inadequate he is as a lover and that I can only be satisfied by a much larger cock.  I need to be touched in places he can’t go.  I may tell him I need a lover that can last for hours and keep up with My voracious sexual appetite – which, as an inferior male,  he obviously can’t.  I may also tell the submissive that he will be required to prepare Me for My lover, “fluff” My lover and clean up both of us after the act.   Mmmm, I get excited just writing about it.  Now where did I leave My bull? . . .

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