Tag Archives: slave training

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #16

Sunday, 01 September 2019 12:13
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Image by Sardax. www.Sardax.com

Image by Sardax. www.Sardax.com

Installment #16 – “Running the Numbers” as Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy

Sometimes “running the numbers” – i.e., counting things – helps explain what it means to be Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy. 

Before i became Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy, i would typically masturbate every two to three days.  Then, Mistress Ayn placed me in indefinite chastity and Her cock became completely under Her control.  Running the numbers, i would have masturbated regularly during the past eight months (around 242 days), from when Mistress Ayn agreed to be my Keyholder until now, and had around 97 orgasms.

As Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy, things have certainly changed.  i have been permitted eight, yes eight, orgasms over the past eight months — not exactly the 97 orgasms i would have enjoyed without Mistress Ayn being my Keyholder.  That averages to one orgasm every 30 days – once a month, as opposed to orgasming every two or three days.  Adding in the one unauthorized orgasm while trapped in the Venus 2000 and the ten ordered, ruined orgasms over the past eight months that comes to a total of 19 ejaculations in 242 days, or one every 12.7 days. 

Keeping in mind that Mistress Ayn once ordered me to have three ruined orgasms in one hour and at another time to have one ruined orgasm, then two ruined orgasms in an hour, and then three ruined orgasms in two hours on three consecutive days as punishments.  So, in actuality, the ejaculations have come farther apart from each other than it seems.

Running the numbers shows the change in my life.  It shows how often i am allowed to enjoy “my” cock, which is now Mistress Ayn’s cock.  It shows that i am allowed to pleasure myself far less often now that Mistress Ayn is my Keyholder.

Moreover, the purpose behind an orgasm has changed.  It used to be for my hedonistic pleasure – an intense, mind-blowing, body-exhausting, self-gratifying orgasm.  Now, with Mistress Ayn as my Keyholder, things are different.  Mistress Ayn explained it best when She last directed me to orgasm: “I want you to orgasm so you know what you are missing when I deny you permission.”

It is possible that, for some subs, chastity is about regularly scheduled orgasms. As Mistress Ayn’s chastity slaveboy, it is about remembering what i gave up for the honor of being Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy.  And, it is so worth it!

Image courtesy of Sardax.  For more fabulous images visit http://sardax.com/.

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #15

Monday, 19 August 2019 15:32
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Installment #15 – Control + Humiliation + Punishment in the Simplest of Things – by slave boy

i am committed to being Mistress Ayn’s chaste slave, Her slaveboy.  To simplify, this means that She is in complete control of me, will humiliate me as She deems necessary, and will impose punishment as needed or for no reason at all.  The combination of = control + humiliation + punishment has clearly crystallized my role as Mistress Ayn’s chaste slaveboy.  i find this combination in the simplest of experiences, especially when visiting Mistress Ayn at the FemDom Mansion.

Eating – all nourishment is in the form of table scraps served in a dog bowl consumed without the use of my hands = control + humiliation + punishment

Sleeping – alone in the dungeon on a thin mattress while chained to a metal post all night until Mistress Ayn returns to unlock me.  A plastic receptacle is nearby for my urination = control + humiliation + punishment

Dressing – naked all weekend unless serving Mistresses and Goddesses and then in feminine, maid, or sissy attire = control + humiliation + punishment

Socializing – never permitted to engage in conversation with other Mistresses or Goddesses during parties.  i am there to serve food and drinks, provide foot messages when instructed, and humiliated at Mistress Ayn’s whim.  i am allowed food if fed like a dog receiving a treat from a Mistress and only permitted water, never alcohol = control + humiliation + punishment

Showering – occurs outside on the patio where any Mistress can wield the garden hose with a multi-setting nozzle, with particular use of the “jet” setting on my genitals = control + humiliation + punishment

Speaking – i am allowed to respond to a Mistress or ask permission to speak; inappropriate speaking, especially sassy comments, are met with a ball gag and/or face slaps to correct this behavior = control + humiliation + punishment

Transportation – at the discretion of Mistress Ayn i am often told to wait at a hotel near the airport for further directions and then “chauffeured” by a Mistress but required to wear a blindfold, even in an Uber.  Never taken directly to the Mansion, rather stopping at a nail salon for a humiliating mani-pedi or to a dungeon for torture = control + humiliation + punishment

Control + humiliation + punishment sums up my role as Mistress Ayn’s submissive and chaste slaveboy and i would not want it any other way, not that i have any input once i committed to being Her slave.

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #12

Thursday, 13 June 2019 18:07
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Installment #12 – The submissive side overcoming the dominant side

Since i was a teen-ager i have been dominant. i have been in control of every romantic relationship, led nearly every organization i was a member, and professionally am entrusted with leading others. i see myself as a servant leader in my professional life – always seeking to care for and help others but also always the leader, taking charge, being in control. Now focusing on my submissive side, Mistress Ayn is seeking to enable that aspect of my personality to emerge – it is quite a challenge.

When in Her presence for slave training, i find myself resisting letting go of my dominant side. i try to control the situation, often verbally as i do in my vanilla life. It is a hard adjustment to not take the initiative, not to try to plan activities or actions in my submissive life, and generally to refrain from being the center of attention among dominant Women. This struggle comes out in my all-too-frequent comments, often sarcastic and thus sassing my Mistress. It comes out in my wanting to orchestra how things will occur, which is often seen in my constant planning and strategizing my time and behavior for an upcoming slave training session.

As a submissive, a true slave to my Mistress, i need to learn how to let go and trust Mistress Ayn. After decades of grabbing control and holding on, this is indeed a major challenge. i am confident i have surrendered myself and committed myself to the right Mistress.

As my Keyholder, she has grabbed control – literately and figuratively – of Her (now) cock and balls. She decides if i get a release and how it happens. i still find myself wanting to try to manipulate Her into some command, but thankfully She is too strong and wise to fall for those tricks.

As my Alpha Mistress and trainer, i want to suggest what should happen in a session, who might be there, and other controlling suggestions. Again, She is kind but firm in not relinquishing Her control of my training. i am experiencing new things, things i never would have “allowed” or even thought of, and these are some of the best experiences and lessons learned as i find my submissive self as Mistress Ayn’s chaste slave.

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave – Six months in chastity

Thursday, 30 May 2019 15:36
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Installment #11 – Six months in chastity, omg.  – by slave boy

Not that long ago i counted my time in chastity in days, then weeks, and thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be something if i was in chastity for months?”  Now, after six months in chastity, i reflect.

The “agreement” with Mistress Ayn to be my Keyholder, and i Her chaste slave, was one of mutual consent.  It was understood that either of U/us could opt out at any time.  Yet, six months later i cannot imagine asking for release from serving as Mistress Ayn’s chaste slave.  It is a “normal” aspect of my life. 

Being Her chaste slave is my first thought in the morning, as the snug chastity cage reminds me.  This normalcy invades my morning routine with daily maintenance of the Holy Trainer cage.  Throughout the day i am reminded of Her control over Her cock and balls as the cage rubs or slightly pinches when i enter a car or take a seat, or countless other normal, daily activities.  And, it is my last thought at night as i feel Her cage against my leg when attempting to sleep. 

It is nearly unimaginable to me that i would have a Keyholder that lives over 700 miles away.   i only see Mistress Ayn during three weekends a year as the house boy at the FemDom Mansion where i serve Her and Her guests as a sissy maid, or as a BDSM submissive, or as a toy for Their amusement, or many other creative situations that Mistress Ayn artfully conjures during my stay.  When at home, i religiously check my email hoping to receive a command from my Keyholder, despite it involving something frustrating, or embarrassing, or subjecting me to Her devious control.

Mistress Ayn seems interested in continuing as my Keyholder.  She randomly sends emails with orders for me to remove Her cage and perform various activities – mostly to tease, edge and deny Her cock, or sometimes to edge to a ruined orgasm, and very infrequently to edge to orgasm.  And, always to immediately return Her cock to Her chastity cage.

W/we seem to be comfortable in this “relationship,” which She often describes as “indefinite,” as in indefinite chastity.  W/we seem to be in a mutually rewarding relationship, Mistress Ayn as my trainer and Keyholder and me as Her submissive, chaste slave.  And, for now, that seems to be the way W/we want it to be.

 

Trials and Tribulations of a chastity slave – Installment #9

Thursday, 02 May 2019 20:05
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Installment #9 – Breaking down “hard limits”

As Mistress Ayn’s chastity slave i am finding that many of my so-called “hard limits” are dropping off that list.  Before becoming Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy, i passionately resisted many things:

  1. Gag – with a quick reflex against objects in my mouth,
  2. Blindfold – wanting to see what was going on in a session,
  3. Piercing – afraid of blood being drawn during a session and the pain associated with piercings,
  4. Marks from whipping – again afraid of drawn blood, a worry over marks being seen by others in my vanilla life, and the potential for intense pain,
  5. Anal play – uncomfortable with any activity in my ass and fearful of the pain involved,
  6. Foot worship – disinterested in touching anyone’s feet or having my own touched,
  7. Feminization – never considered myself to pass as a woman – which is how i viewed this play,
  8. No safe words – always needing a way out of the play, and

Collectively all of these hard limits have disappeared and their presence are a mainstay in my current slave training.

Why? There appears to be two primary reasons.

Most importantly, i am now being trained by a Mistress whom i completely trust.  Mistress Ayn, and other Mistresses i serve, know how to introduce these activities into a session without causing me harm or raising unnecessary fears.  They are presented sanely and safely but still with intensity.  Mistress Ayn also has made it clear that these activities bring pleasure to Her and Her friends and that is my ultimate goal as a submissive.  Oddly, i now crave many of these activities in a session since they are amazing experiences in my journey as Mistress Ayn’s chaste slaveboy.

Secondly, i am learning how to give up control.  Rather than orchestrating a session by imposing these hard limits, i am simply asking for three things: to be controlled, humiliated and experience pain.  This tri-fold desire runs counter to many of my former hard limits.  By giving up the control in a session and more and more in my life, i am accepting, even embracing, new experiences, such as each of these so-called hard limits on the list.

A lesson learned, at the hands of a skilled Mistress whom i trust completely, is a wonderful lesson learned.

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