Tag Archives: education

Transformative Gender Experiences

DSC_5238bwwmeI have been asked to sit on a panel to discuss gender issues as they relate to kink.  So join Me Saturday, May 7th at Frolicon from 1:00pm – 2:15pm.  The panel will be run by a sociologist specializing in gender identity.

Panel description:

In this discussion we examine social research that explores how certain experiences can challenge our gender identities. From there we venture into how such gendered experiences can be incorporated into kink, helping us grow, evolve, and empathize with those of different genders than our own. A panel of kinksters will share their experiences on this topic and answer questions.

As a Dominatrix I interact with all kinds of kinksters that want to explore and push the limits of gender.  Those experiences range from simple humiliation through emasculation to sissy play to full on transgender.  So join Me as I participate with a panel of other kinksters to discuss and answer questions about this very current (and often controversial) topic.

Frolicon 2016 – Sheraton Downtown Atlanta, 165 Courtland Street NE, Atlanta, GA  30303.

Official Website – http://www.frolicon.com

 

 

 

Levels of Submission – Where are you?

A Mistress on Twitter tweeted a link to this article. The link is below, but it has some popups and weird messages, so I have copied the article below the link.

Here is the link if you care to go to it: http://www.oocities.org/undrcover23/nine/

NINE DEGREES OF SUBMISSION

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

The Nine Degrees of Submission are important to understand. Like any other relationship, there are boundaries. Think of the straight people you know. Sometimes the man rules the roost. Other times it’s the woman. But most always, one has a little more power than the other. It varies from couple to couple. So why is it that most gay and lesbian men and women expect our relationships to be completely 50/50? No other group is. Naturally, all humans have it programmed in their heads to be either Dominate or submissive on some level or another. Obviously, if you’re reading this, you don’t fall into the vanilla category, but you may not fall into the most extreme one either. I urge to read and understand each level and find where you fit in. Also remember, just because today you fit into say level 3, after proper training you may find you are level 7.

1. THE KINKY SENSUALIST – The kinky sensualist is not a trained sub. There is no servitude, humiliation or giving up control. This level is just “spiced up sensuality”. This is the first step beyond vanilla.

2. PSEUDO SUBMISSIVE NON-SLAVE – The Pseudo Submissive Non-Slave is not even into “playing” slave but into other submissive role-playing such as school teacher scenes, infantilism, “forced” transvestism. Usually into humiliation inter-action to a large degree.

3. PSEUDO-SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Pseudo-Submissive Play Slave likes to play at being a slave; likes to feel subservient; might, in some cases, like to feel one is being “used” to gratify partner. May even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the “slave’s” own terms. Dictates the interaction to a large degree.

4. TRUE SUBMISSIVE – NON SLAVE – The True Submissive, Non-Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed-upon limits), but gets her/his main satisfaction from aspects of submission, other than serving or being used by the dominant.
Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up responsibility. Doesn’t dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly his/her own direct pleasure (rather than getting one’s pleasure mainly from pleasing dominant).

5. SUBMISSIVE PLAY SLAVE – The Submissive Play Slave really gives up control (though only temporarily, within limits) and gets main satisfaction from serving dominant – but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. May or may not be into pain. If so, is turned on by pain indirectly, i.e. enjoys partner’s pleasure, on which the submissive places very few requirements or restrictions.

6. UNCOMMITTED SHORT-TERM BUT MORE THAN PLAY SEMI-SLAVE – This slave really gives up control (usually within limits). Wants to serve and be enslaved by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic services; but only when the “slave” is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of agreed
upon several days). May or may not have long term relationship. Either way, the “slave” has the final say over when he will serve.

7. PART-TIME CONSENSUAL, BUT REAL SLAVE – This slave has an ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship and regards oneself as the dominant’s property at all times. Wants to obey and please dominant in all aspects of life, practical/non-erotic and fun/erotic. Devotes most of time to other commitments (e.g. job, kids) but dominant has first pick of the slave’s free time. This is a live-in arrangement.

8. FULL TIME LIVE IN CONSENSUAL SLAVE – Within no more that an few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards himself as existing solely for the Dom’s pleasure/well being. Slave expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave’s position is more likely to be fully consensual. Within the S/M world, a full time slave “arrangement” is entered into with explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements.

9. CONSENSUAL TOTAL SLAVE WITH NO LIMITS – This is a common fantasy ideal. Probably doesn’t exist in real life (accept in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the consent is induced by social or economic pressures, and hence isn’t fully consensual). A few SM purists will insist that you aren’t really a slave unless you’re willing to do absolutely anything for your Dom, with no limits. This is the most difficult level to achieve, however; it is the most common fantasy. One would be required to cut off contact with his previous live including friends and family.

I would say that most subs I see professionally fall between 1 and 5. 5 is sort of the “sweet spot” for Me. 1s can end up being “kingsters” as I heard MIB refer to them and beyond 6 can be clingy and needy. That’s one Woman’s opinion. What is yours?  Join this discussion on The Buzz.

There is a new “Max Fisch”

dominams

As some of you know, the website Max Fisch has been steadily declining.  It is sad because MF has been a fixture in the FemDom scene for many years.  Unfortunately it is now unmanned, they are not adding new Mistresses to listings, you can’t register as a new member of The Hang (the discussion forums) and many have left due to the un-moderated flaming on the board.  With no new blood coming in it has become a relic.

Well, there is a new board in town.  The website Domina.ms has been around for years and it appears they are under new ownership (or the owners decided to pay attention to it again).  Now in addition to Domme listings, they have a Traveling Domme section and a Max Fisch-like discussion board called The Buzz.

I am proud to announce they have given Me My Own Domme Board and made Me a moderator.  So I want all My minions to go register and let’s make the Mistress Ayn Domme Board the best one on The Buzz.  Feel free to start discussions and participate in existing ones.

The site still has some issues, so if you encounter problems let them know – or tell Me and I will pass it along.  The bottom line is that it appears MF is on its last leg and I wouldn’t be surprised if it just disappeared one day  – but now there is a new alternative – if we will just support it.

So check out the site, register for the board and let’s talk . . .

Domina.ms (main site)

The Buzz (go directly to the discussion forums)

Note:  I have had some issues using the site with the Chrome browser.  It looks like it’s optimized to work best with Internet Explorer (sigh).  I have brought it to the attention of the site administrator that half the planet uses a browser other than I.E. these days, so hopefully that is on their to do list.

Introducing Kink 101 Educational Video Series

Kink 101 is an ongoing series of educational BDSM videos meant to inform and instruct the curious in the art of BDSM, FemDom and the Domme/sub relationship.  The series currently focuses on the more basic questions and issues associated with BDSM.  More complex topics will be addressed as the series matures.  All non-explicit videos will posted on Youtube.  Videos that are not appropriate for Youtube will be available on My subscription fansite, AynRules.com.  Have a question or want a topic discussed, just let Me know by emailing:  ayn@mistressayn.com

Know when a new video topic is available by subscribing to My Youtube channel.

Current videos:

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