Tag Archives: education

SESTA/FOSTA and how we move forward

Thursday, 29 March 2018 22:09
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The adult industry, which includes Professional Domination, is aghast at the passing of the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act.  In most people’s opinion, it will do little to stop the “human trafficking” which was how it was sold to the public, but will instead force the sex industry (including the traffickers and pedos) farther underground and make everyone less safe.  It also blows a giant hole in our internet freedoms but few are actually talking about that.  The bottom line is the new law will hold website owners, hosting companies, social media sites, etc. responsible for the content of their users. If a provider posts a tweet on Twitter that says she will be available for sessions in Washington, DC, (and if those sessions are deemed illegal) technically Twitter would be breaking the law and Twitter would be held accountable.  But what does it really mean to Us as Dommes and you as a client?

We are a long way from knowing what the fallout from this will be. As many have said, it will really be up to the courts. The first test case will set the precedent. The DOJ has already said they don’t have time to police this and many believe that the judiciary will see this as overreach. We shall see.

I am not a political creature and have no expertise in these matters but my guess is they will go after the “low hanging fruit” first. Sites like The Erotic Review would be far easier to prosecute than say Max Fisch. TER caters primarily to escorts and illegal activity (illegal in the US, but they are based in Canada where providing sexual services is not illegal) is openly talked about there. I know TER has taken their US forums down, but what about the profiles and reviews of US providers? Profiles contain information like “rimming allowed” and “cum in mouth”. They may self-regulate this too by taking all US provider profiles down. As long as those profiles and reviews are up, they will be a big potential target. It will be interesting to watch.

Eros Guide is another big question mark. After the raid on their call offices in North Carolina, they notified advertisers saying that they were based in Switzerland and that all our information was safe. It will be interesting to see how non-US based companies like TER and Eros Guide will be treated. Any of the websites that mix escort/GFE services with BDSM are likely to be gone for us going forward – either by self-censorship or heavy enforcement of this new law. Personally, I have never liked being on a site that mixes the two but we don’t always have a choice if we want to advertise effectively. I would much prefer being exclusively on sites like Dickie Virgin that cater solely to BDSM. I may get my wish.

What’s really sad for me to see is all the self-censorship this is already causing. People are so afraid that they are policing themselves before the law has been tested. We are letting them win. Until there is a test case, I am not doing anything.

Obviously, those of us that are established in the business will feel any fall out less than newer providers or those trying to get started out in the business. When the BDSM/fetish portion of Backpage when down, I didn’t feel anything. If anything, I think it cleaned up the business a bit. But I am not a new Domme trying to get my name out. I am well indexed and easy to find. If sites like MF, the Buzz and Dickie Virgin bite the dust, it will be very hard for a new provider to get her name out there. I feel their pain.

Regardless, I think it’s highly doubtful they will choose to go after BDSM anytime soon. We should all stick to best business practices on our own websites and social media. We know what that is, we just don’t always adhere to it.

What should you do?

As a ProDomme,  you need to get your name out everywhere now because you don’t know what, if any, sites will be going down.  Do not rely on one advertising source.  Make sure your website is search engine friendly and take steps to get it indexed properly.  If you have a free site like Weebly or a WordPress blog, replace it.  Those companies already have rules against adult content and will be sure to enforce it fully now.  Back up your website and at a minimum copy all the wording in the event you have to rebuild it.  It’s also a good idea to start researching non-US based hosting companies.  Start using encrypted email and encourage your clients to do the same.  Use “best practices” on social media, like marking sensitive content.  You should have been doing this anyway and the first to have their accounts shut down will likely be the ones that have not used best practices.  Allow clients to subscribe to your email list and back that list up often if it is kept at a third party vendor like icontact.  These are all things that savvy, business headed ProDommes are already doing anyway.  That’s why they will be hurt less by any fallout.

As a client, you should start saving the contact information of providers that are important to you. Websites, social media accounts, etc. may start to disappear. If they have an email mailing list, subscribe to it.  Replace your “sub-persona” email account with encrypted email.  I’ve been using private, encrypted email (Luxsci.com) for a while now because I’ve never liked the idea of data mining. However it’s only good if it’s used on both ends – meaning if I send an email to a gmail account, it loses its secure feature once it lands in your gmail account. Many people are converting to ProtonMail.com, a free (for now) provider based in Switzerland that claims to be encrypted and does not share or scrape your account for marketing purposes.  ProtonMail to My account would therefore be encrypted and secure.

So in summary, I am not panicking and I don’t think anyone else should either. However, it is good to be prepared.  I think it is sad to see this potential loss of freedom, but as a nation, we brought this on ourselves by being asleep at the wheel and trading liberty and freedom for security.  Sleep tight America.

Want a simple primer to get up to speed on what FOSTA is all about?  Here is a pretty cut to the chase on:

https://www.thecut.com/2018/03/sesta-anti-sex-trafficking-bill-fosta.html

FAQ #25 – What is predicament bondage?

Thursday, 11 January 2018 13:17
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Oh, how diabolical it is!  Predicament bondage consists of putting a person in a position offering limited movement and positions shifts, but each of those shifts has a consequence.  Planning this type of play can really get the creative juices flowing and the reward for the top is non-stop entertainment.

Here are two examples:

#1 The nipples are clamped and each clamp is tied off to a big toe.  If the sub is standing he would be made to stoop to keep the pressure off this nipples.  If he tries to stand straight or moves too quickly, the nipples get a jerk.  Having My slave perform tasks while in this predicament can be amusing.  This also works laying down.  The sub is made to keep his feet perpendicular and a nipple clamp is tied to each toe.  If he relaxes his feet, he tugs on the nipples.

#2 The cock and balls are securely tied and then tied off to the subs collar.  If laying down, he has to curl up to keep the pressure off his balls.  If he relaxes he increases the pressure on the cock and balls.  He won’t be able to stay in either position for long and must keep shifting from one uncomfortable position to another.

Predicament bondage can be tons of fun for the Top and Her bottom and thinking up new predicaments is half the fun,

Chastity and the hormones connection

Friday, 28 July 2017 17:29
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chasitity_cage

I love the idea of male chastity.  The practicalities are often a challenge and on this blog, you will find articles about chastity devices, experiences and so forth.  To add to the topic, I asked one of My sissy chastity subs to share his thoughts on hormones and their impact on chastity and vice versa.  Here are his fruits of his assignment:

My name is Sissy Jennifer and I am a chastity sub.  In my previous life, I did research on hormones—mostly estradiol and testosterone—so I am always talking to Mistress Ayn about the effects of hormones on my chastity.  Mistress Ayn asked me to write about hormones and chastity because she thought her blog readers might be interested.  Please note that what I wrote below applies to men, as the response of women to the same hormones may be different.

Although a myriad of hormones affects chastity, only three are of real importance.  The first hormone is dopamine or the “pleasure” hormone.  The intense pleasure associated with orgasm is caused by an extra burst of dopamine released in the brain.  High levels of dopamine are associated with well-being and a high libido. After an orgasm, dopamine levels drop dramatically, and it takes awhile for them to come back to normal.

The second hormone is prolactin or the “satiety” hormone.  Prolactin levels spike after an orgasm, and, in a sense, counteract high dopamine levels.  High prolactin levels are associated with lethargy, depression, and a low libido.  Like dopamine, it takes awhile for prolactin levels to decline back to normal. 

The release of prolactin isn’t good for relationships, so the body also produces a third hormone, oxytocin or the “cuddle” or “love” hormone.  High levels of oxytocin are associated with feelings of attachment and bonding.  Like dopamine, oxytocin is released in a burst after orgasm, but it doesn’t persist very long.

How does all of this mesh with a chastity sub?  Both dopamine and oxytocin rise during sexual arousal. The chastity device that a chastity sub wears contributes, in a modest way, to his low-level sexual arousal.  If a chastity sub is teased, then his dopamine and oxytocin levels increase even more.  In a best-case scenario, a chastity sub is kept in a state of relatively high sexual arousal.  This state helps explain the captioned image of a man in a chastity cage saying, “I prefer to keep it on” and why the expression “there is no denial without the tease” is true.  Neurologically, a chastity sub in a high state of sexual arousal grows to “enjoy” all the benefits of high dopamine and oxytocin, while avoiding the deleterious effects of prolactin. 

Product Review of Evotion Chastity Device

Saturday, 10 June 2017 12:09
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IMG_61344 out of 5 stars – ★★★★ 

Mistress Ayn asked me to review the Evotion chastity cage (evotionwearables.com).  First, a bit of background:  I have been a chastity sub since 2012.  Originally I wore a Jailbird from Mature Metal, which was fine because it is a custom-fitted device, but it was simply not secure enough.  In addition, I had continual problems with the weight of a “ball-capture” device (166 grams with lock).  For these reasons, I abandoned this design and opted for devices designed to enclose just the glans of the penis and some of the shaft.  The concept here is that the cage rests sufficiently snugly on the back of the glans to hold all the weight of device, while the piercing provides security and proper positioning.  I got a Prince Albert (PA) piercing, but inasmuch as I am not circumcised, I got a “go-through” piercing of my foreskin as well.  Chastity devices for PAs almost always state that they are for circumcised males only.  From this point on, I wore a Lustlock Penicap, which I liked because of its light weight (28 grams with a substituted plastic lock).  Unfortunately, the plastic device became brittle with cleaning and age, and eventually it became unwearable.  At this point, the Penicap had gone out of production.  I replaced the Penicap with a Steelworxx Tube Jacket 2, which is made almost entirely from stainless steel and weighs much more (103 grams) than a Penicap.  Despite being a custom-fitted device, it was impossible to keep sufficient weight off of the PA piercing.  Mistress Ayn suggested I try an Evotion chastity device because one of its models (Model Seven) is both lightweight and designed for a PA piercing.  In addition, the company uses 3D printer technology to yield a seam-free, custom-fitted device in a variety of colors.

After supplying all the proper measurements, I bought a Model Seven with an internal lock ($265).  As a proper sub, I ordered it in pink.  I received an email that I could expect the device in 6 weeks.  It took almost 9 weeks.  As expected, the fit is excellent and there is almost no weight on the piercing.  The four pieces of the device interlock together perfectly.  My device weighs 38 grams.  There is always some minor pinching when wearing it, but I ignore this pinching as something to remind me of who I am.  The manufacturer suggests that the device is “inescapable when used with the piercing”, but as anyone who wears a chastity device knows, the only inescapable chastity device is, paradoxically, no chastity device, where it is so disrespectful to the keyholder to escape that escape is never considered.  The Model Seven is easy to put on and remove, something I appreciate for sake of hygiene. Nylon is an excellent, durable plastic, but only time will tell if it will suffer the same fate as my Penicap.  The manufacturer recommends cleaning in warm water and vinegar for odor control, and nylon does degrade in acidic solutions.  My only real dislike is that I ordered it in pink and whoever made my device must be colorblind (see picture).  I would be hard-pressed to call the Model Seven beautiful, but it has worked well so far, and I am pleased–as much as any chastity sub could be pleased being in chastity–with my purchase.

 

All those pesky acronyms and abbreviations in BDSM

Tuesday, 20 September 2016 19:17
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bus-1241459_1920For some reason kinksters love their acronyms.  Maybe it’s the need to be discrete in front of others or maybe it’s the geek in us wanting to have a secret lingo that only the “in crowd” understands.  Whatever the reason it can get cumbersome at times.  I remember a Domme texting Me once asking what NT meant.  A sub had listed his kinks in acronyms and she was drawing a blank on that one.  When I replied, “nipple torture”, she did the proverbial face palm.  Of course she knew what NT meant, but with all these to remember (plus subs occasionally make up their own) it can be difficult to recall them sometimes.

Recently on Twitter I announced that I was about to see a particular sub and listed the day’s menu in hashtag acronyms.  When he arrived at the dungeon he said he had been worrying all day what #SOT meant.  I pulled out My strap on and he got it – in more ways than one.

Below is a list some of the most common abbreviations used in Female Domination:

AB – Adult Baby
ATM – Ass to Mouth
BBW – Big Beautiful Woman
BDSM – Bondage & Discipline (BD) Dominance & submission (Ds) Sadism & Masochism (SM)
CBB – Cock and Ball Bondage
CBT – Cock and Ball Torture
CD – Crossdresser
CFNM – Clothed Female, Naked Male
CP – Corporal Punishment
Cuck – Cuckold
D/s – Dominant/submissive
FEMDOM – Female Domination
FT or FTT – Full Toilet or Full Toilet Training
GS – Golden Shower
NT – Nipple Torture
OTK – Over The Knee
RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink
SPH – Small Penis Humiliation
SOT – Strap On Training
SOW – Strap On Worship
SSC – Safe Sane Consensual
TPE – Total Power Exchange
TS – Trans Sexual
WS – Water Sports

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