Tag Archives: education

COVID-19, sessions and safety.

Tuesday, 17 March 2020 18:40
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I am getting emails almost daily asking if I am still accepting sessions.  For now the answer is “yes”.  I am a relatively low volume Domme because My tribute is a little higher and My average session length is 2 hours, so I typically don’t see multiple subs per day – especially now.   Seeing a Domme is probably much safer than getting your haircut, going to the gym or even going to your grocery store.  The number of individuals using the facility daily is extremely small and our health consciousness and attention to detail is not something that we just adopted due to the virus.

Ironically a well kept Dungeon is one of the cleanest environments you can be in.  At Atlanta Dungeon our practice has always been to sterilize each piece of equipment after use and to disinfect all furniture you come in contact with during a session.  With COVID-19 our practices are even more strenuous and includes a wipe down of furniture both before and after your session along with disinfecting commonly touched surfaces like door knobs, faucet handles, etc. before and after each session.  Remember, our industry is used to protecting its clients from blood and fluid borne pathogens, so we always use hospital grade cleansers like CaviCide, Barbicide (dimethyl benzyl ammonium chloride), along with bleach and alcohol.

To help make sure I keep you and Myself safe, I am practicing “social distancing” outside of work.  I am no longer going to the gym, eating out or attending functions and am pretty much just staying home and going to the Dungeon as needed.  Obviously everyone has to make their own decisions when it comes to risks but I want My submissives to know that I have their safety as well as My own in the forefront of My mind.

We probably have some trying times ahead and a little stress relief will be needed by all.  If you don’t want or can’t do an in person session, I will be more accessible for phone and Skype sessions.

So if you need a little escape from the world ending, come and get your kink on.

Tribute Etiquette

Wednesday, 28 August 2019 11:55
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How to present your tribute:

  1. Have it ready – counting out your tribute in front of Me is uncouth. Whether intended or not, I see it as a passive aggressive move to remind Me that you are paying and therefore in control. It’s not the best way to start your session.
  1. Have it in a plain, unsealed envelope. Even if you have been seeing Me for years, I may count the tribute in private before we start.  Especially if it’s a double or the tribute deviates from our norm.  I prefer not to have to rip the envelope open to do this check.
  1. Don’t write anything on the envelope. I would prefer not to have a bunch of envelopes with “Mistress Ayn” floating around out there – either in your pocket or the trash.  We all know who it is for.
  1. Just lay it down within eyesight upon entry. Don’t hand it to Me.  Most of Us were taught not to touch the tribute.  It’s a legal thing and I don’t know if it  holds water or not, but I have always done it this way and it just feels better to Me.  Somehow it’s less transactional and starts everything off right.

I can’t speak for all Dommes but this is how I like to receive My tribute.  If in doubt, ask.  It is your first live interaction with a Mistress, so get it right and start things off positively.

 

Putting the Professional in Pro Dom

Monday, 01 October 2018 11:41
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Often when subs talk about sessions or review them, it’s all about the activities, the Dommes appearance, the session space and so forth.  All of these things are important but what about what comes first and lies beneath the surface?  Professionalism.

Recently a submissive took the time to post a review that wasn’t a review of a particular session but of his experience with Me as a professional.  Like him, I believe when a Domme puts the label “Pro” in front of her title it should mean something.  It should mean that a sub’s time is just as important as Ours.  It should mean that respect goes both ways.  It should mean that discretion, cleanliness and safety are expectations that should not need to be worried about – after all, you are dealing with a professional.

This sub goes above and beyond to sing My praises and let readers know how professionalism in Pro Domination should work.  Frankly, it’s one of the most important reviews I have ever gotten and I am very appreciative of his efforts.

The review can be read on The Buzz.  For your convenience, it is posted in its entirety below:

So.. this isn’t a session review. You can see review after review of Mistress Ayn and how amazing She is in session and I am more than willing to attest to how true that is. Instead, this is actually something that is just as important but is rarely discussed in the reviews on this board and that is how amazing Mistress Ayn is as a Professional in this field.

If you know my name or have seen my posts you probably know I have been pretty prolific with my sessioning over the last few years. Therefore, I have dealt with many, many different Pro Dommes. Each Woman is unique, with their own set of rules and methods for dealing with clients and Mistress Ayn is no different in that respect . . .

However, by far, the single most professional and considerate Domme I have ever sessioned with is Mistress Ayn and IMO, She deserves to be called out, praised and known for this fact. Don’t get me wrong, She has Her pain in the butt rules like requiring you to fill out the form on her website before She will consider you as a client. However, She is also willing to give you the logical explanation of exactly why She requires that  . . .

Once accepted, setting up the session itself has always been smooth and easy with the expectations for confirmation calls and pre-session instructions communicated very well. She responds to emails in a timely manner and is perfectly willing to talk on the phone if I ever feel I need to ask/explain something interactively rather than just through text. At the session, She has simple and clear procedures that make you feel your clothes, wallet and other stuff is safe. It is clear that Her equipment is always clean and sanitized and She always separates what She has used during a session from what She hasn’t.

As praiseworthy as all of that is, all of those things are what most Pro Dommes do and other than the incredibly personable way that goes about all of the business surrounding a session, it is pretty standard for those who are truly great in this field. But, even beyond that She loves everything about what She does and She loves to be able to be creative and truly personalize the experience while insuring Her own enjoyment. Again, this is similar to most great Pro Dommes.

So, since these are things that a lot of great Pros do, you may ask what has driven me to write this today? It is that I wrote and asked Her for a reference for another Domme that She knows and who is planning a visit to Detroit. However, instead of just saying “Sure Asp, you can use me as a reference” or “Yes, tell Her contact Me in this way”, Mistress Ayn did something so simple yet so insanely professional that it just blew me away.

Instead, She offered to and then reached out to the Domme and vouched for me in order to make it easier on both myself and the other Domme. Its the kind of little thing that you see in great customer service organizations and yet almost never in this world. Not just to say yes to a request but to see how with just an extremely small effort She could make things easier for everyone involved.

It would be incredibly professional for a lawyer or a doctor or an accountant to do something along those lines with a colleague. Yet in this new world where the “Pro” in Pro Domme tends to stand for “Fuck You Pay Me beta boy” rather than actually being Professional in how a Domme interacts with clients outside of the service itself, it was just an awesome thing to experience. The thing is She probably considers it to be no big deal and just what everyone should do to help a good client connect with a Domme colleague, and that attitude is really why Mistress Ayn really puts the Professional in Pro Domme.

Well… I am here to say it is a very big deal to me. Oh, and as for when you are lucky enough to be within Her control, She is just as amazingly Pro at all of that as well (including the butt stuff).

Asp

FAQ #30 – Are you into financial domination?

Monday, 24 September 2018 18:30
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I am often asked if I will participate in financial domination or blackmail scenarios.  The short answer is “no”.  I will occasionally play around with it as a theme on a NiteFlirt call or make you pay for unauthorized orgasms, but that’s about the extent of it.  I have no interest in any sort of long-term FinDom relationship.

Why?  I don’t find it particularly fun.  I don’t enjoy playing the bratty girl that expects you to open your wallet just because I tell you.  Call Me old fashioned but I think there should be some value for any sort of financial exchange and I can’t really wrap My head around a sub wanting that kind of domination.  In addition, I would never blackmail a client in reality, so pretending that I would just seems forced.  I’ve read extensively about financial domination, I’ve experimented with it and I just don’t find that it is for Me.

My lack of interest in it does not invalidate it as a real fetish or a real form of domination.  I get that there are submissives that see turning over their finances to a dominant woman to be the ultimate surrender of their private space and a powerful aphrodisiac.  I mean no disrespect to FinDommes that are good at their trade (although I think there are precious few of them that are genuinely good).  As long as the Domme acts responsibly and the sub is consenting, I have no issues with it.  But there is the rub.  Since FinDom is practiced primarily online, a new breed of Dominatrix has sprung up and problems are starting to arise.  More than one case has actually turned criminal when a FinDomme released private information about a client to the public because he refused to continue the roleplay.

If you seek financial domination, choose your FinDom Mistress wisely.  Negotiate the real world implications and have a written record of that negotiation.  The more exposed you really are, the more real and powerful it may feel, but the results, if things go wrong, could be catastrophic to your real life.

FAQ #28 – How do I prepare for a BDSM FemDom session?

Sunday, 22 April 2018 21:19
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Subs often ask Me if there is anything in particular they should do to prepare for a session.  Usually their mind is wrapped around their genitals and thoughts of edging, looking at photos, etc. are in the forefront, but there is a practical side to preparing for sessions too.  Subs get excited and sometimes forget the common sense practicalities of preparation.  Below are some pointers for making sure your session goes well.

  • Hydrate well prior to your session.  When things go wrong physically in a session (lightheadedness, nausea, tiredness, etc.) it is usually from dehydration.  This is the number one cause of fainting in session.  If you are having a particularly heavy session or a session that lasts 90 minutes or more, take a bottle of water or a sports drink with you in session and don’t be shy to ask for a swallow.
  • Eat normally.  I know pre-session jitters can lead to an adrenaline rush that can cause you to lose your appetite prior to a session but failing to eat can cause the same nasty issues listed above.  Even if you aren’t hungry try to at least eat a light meal prior to your session.  Low blood sugar due to a lack of food can really be a buzz kill in session.
  • Practice proper hygiene.  This should go without saying but be sure you arrive clean and fresh.  If you are coming from work or a flight and feel sweaty, ask to take a quick shower.  If you are odiferous your Domme won’t want to get too close.  If you will be engaging in anal play, give yourself an enema approximately 2 hours prior if at all possible.  I know this will be TMI for some, but all subs should clean in that area by inserting a soapy finger in the shower until it comes back clean.  There is nothing worse than spanking a sub and when you turn him over your knee he smells like ass.  Take this advice.  Your Mistress will appreciate it.
  • No cologne, please.  I know you think your cologne smells sexy and manly – and it may, but it’s not appropriate to wear it in session. Particularly strong scents have given Me a headache or caused Me to sneeze.   There is also the issue of transference.  Strong scents can transfer on to Us and We end up smelling like you.  A busy Domme can go home smelling like a department store fragrance counter.  I don’t wear any perfume in session for these exact reasons.  Please reciprocate.
  • Manscape if possible.  I know this is not an option for everyone, but even trimming can be a help.  Having to navigate around a full bush of hair to perform CBT can be awkward and actually hurt you in a not so good way.  Trim the shrubbery if you can.

In addition to these points, follow any specific instructions your Mistress has, including being chaste, preforming edging exercises or whatever She desires.  We want to have a good time just like you do, so do yourself a favor and prepare accordingly.

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