Just before Dom Con New Orleans in 2019, Simone Justice asked if She could interview Me regarding My thoughts on public play. She was preparing to lead a DomCon Parade down Bourbon Street and the topic of public play, consent and ethics came up. I don’t think this interview was ever published so I thought I would post it here.
SJ: What is your opinion as to the limits of public play?
MA: I love public play, but it means different things to different people. Some people think the simple act of wearing a visible collar is public play. Others don’t consider play to be public unless it’s more of a scene. It’s important to understand the limits of the person you are playing with in each situation. My only real limit to what I will do in public has to do with the respect of people that could view the play. I don’t like to involve people that haven’t consented and might find what I do with a submissive offensive.
SM: What do you do with your own clients in public?
MA: I have done all kinds of discreet and indiscreet public play. I’ve had shoe fetishists put shoes on me in a shoe store. I’ve taken sissies to have bra fittings at lingerie stores, mani/pedis, in store makeover, etc. I’ve wired subs up with electro or remote plugs and stimulated them in public with no one the wiser. I’ve also done full blown scenes in kink friendly venues.
SJ: What would you never do in public with a client?
MA: I would never do anything that was offensive to on lookers. I’ve outgrown the need for shock value. If I am going to do something with a sub that might offend a shop employee, I call ahead first and clue them in. It’s amazing how often people are good sports and will play into your scene if you just give them the respect of letting them know what is going on. Anything done in front of children that would require an explanation from parents is definitely off limits.
SJ: How did you develop your rules of what you will do in public?
MA: Experience. It just evolved over time. I’ve learned the most from listening to my subs and what their concerns are and I understand that everyone’s limits are different.
SJ: Have your limits changed over the years?
MA: Absolutely. I used to have little regard for the “vanillas”. When I was less mature as Domme I found it fun to shock the public. Now I just see it as disrespectful to those not a part of the scene and disrespectful to the concept of BDSM in general.
SJ: Anything else you would like to say about The Ethics of Public Play?
MA: There are tons of opportunities to play in public if you handle it correctly. Consider your surroundings and act accordingly. A venue like Bourbon Street is very different from the neighborhood mall on Saturday. For many subs it is about the idea that things are happening to them in public whether anyone else is aware of it or not. Don’t push the envelope so far that you end up giving BDSM a bad name. BDSM is about consent. Everyone’s consent. Not just you and your play partner.
Let’s shake things up a bit this year. I did that last year with a move to Europe and it’s only been positive. This year is your year to make some changes and get out of your rut. I suggest you embrace your submissive/feminine side and see just how good a submissive you can be. Submission may just set you free.
