Category Archives: Miscellaneous Musings

New Sardax portrait comission.

As a special birthday present a long time DC sub comissioned a portrait from the world famous FemDom artist, Sardax.  His idea was to capture some of our play and since he is a RHT stocking fetishist it was only natural for My feet to be covered only in stockings.  Breath play and CBT are also among our favorite activities and we have literally spent hours over the past few years in a very similar position as the one depicted.  It will have a special place in My heart and in My home.

ms_ayn3

The art of Sardax:

Trials and tribulations of a chastity slave.  Installment #1

The trials and tribulations of a chastity slave.  Installment #1 by slave boy jaime.

For many years i served Mistresses when i traveled for business in a two-hour session of domination, humiliation and mild discipline.  In August 2017, while in Atlanta, Mistress Ayn agreed to “bookend sessions,” where i would serve Her the day i arrived and again the day before i left.  W/we shared mutual BDSM interests, She worked out of the well-equipped Atlanta Dungeon, She had the experience to control an experienced sub, and She was very attractive – a “perfect storm.”

W/we clearly had a strong Mistress-slave connection and only a few weeks later i was craving to serve Mistress Ayn again.  i saw the FemDom Mansion website and the opportunity to submit to Mistress Ayn and the Ladies of the Mansion for a full weekend.  This was one of my “bucket list” fantasies. In March 2018 i submitted to Mistress Ayn for the weekend, which included an abduction fantasy, lots of discipline, humiliation as a maid, and so much more, as chronicled in Mistress Ayn’s blog.  i repeated this weekend of service in October 2018 with even more control, humiliation, and discipline.

Yet, only one month later i was again pining for Mistress Ayn’s dominating control.  Coordinated Skype online training was logistical impossible but W/we could communicate by email  so i asked Mistress Ayn if She was interested in being my keyholder.  i had self-caged my cock but never for more than a week.  Initially, She was not interested, especially since W/we were separated by 700 miles.

i persevered and soon She came to believe that She could trust me and i would be obedient to Her commands even though i would be holding the key as the Holy Trainer device required release for daily maintenance.  i proposed a fee for this service, Mistress Ayn doubled it, and i had my first keyholder.

That brings U/us to today – i am Mistress Ayn’s chaste slave with no scheduled releases, only allowed out of chastity upon Mistress Ayn’s orders, and then to act only as She commands.  What has Mistress Ayn demanded from me as Her chaste slave?  Well, that is for Chronicle installment #2 in Her blog.

Sardax FemDom Portrait

Mistress Ayn by SardaxAs a unique gift idea, My sub joe had a portrait commissioned by the famous FemDom artist, Sardax.  We decided on a classic setting with joe in tow, masked, collared and leased following Me up a set of stairs.  The monochrome watercolor turned out just as I wanted with the slightly sinister feel of dusk creeping in the building as we mount the stairs.

It has a place of honor in My personal Dungeon and I will treasure it always.

To see more of Sardax’s work visit his website.

 

Chastity and the ruined orgasm

These are two of My favorite things.  Combine them and it’s just over the top fun – at least for Me.

Recently I accepted a new distance chastity slave.  The slave is not new to Me (or you if you follow FemDom Mansion) he is just new to chastity.  We only get to see each other a couple of times a year (usually when he submits at FemDom Mansion for a weekend retreat) and we both wanted to have him under My control beyond those visits and becoming his keyholder was the obvious choice.

After a month or so of being under My control, I thought it was time for a real test.  I wanted to see if he would comply and ruin his own orgasm just because I ordered him to.  Well, slave boy (the slave formerly known as jaime) did as ordered and here is his report:

“Finally, i thought, i can “finish” this edging session.  No more shove the erect cock back into the cage without cumming.  But, i have always had problems with ruining an orgasm since, well, i want to cum – hard.  This time, it was not my idea to pleasure myself but Your command to bring You pleasure.  After barely 15 minutes of edging i knew i was close.  i knew that a few more strokes would provide me with a powerful orgasm – lots of built up cum shooting out.  But that was not Your command.” 
 
i stroked until i knew i would cum with or without more stroking, so i stopped.  Thus, the orgasm was ruined as i held Your cock in my hand, and watched the massive amount of cum just dribble out – not shoot out in a way that was satisfying.  It kept dribbling, catching all of it in my hand.  i squeezed Your cock so the last drops were emptied into my hand.  Then, i knew i had to recycle.  What a mouthful, but i let it rest in my mouth for a few seconds, just to let the taste hit all my taste buds, and then i swallowed.”
 
“What did i just do?  That is not how i used to cum pre-MASB (Mistress Ayn’s slave boy).  It was clear that i followed Your directions, not acting to please me. No, it was not satisfying for me, since i still felt like i had not had an orgasm.  Your cock was still hard and i was still very frustrated.  And returning Your cock to the chastity cage was just as painful and disappointing as it was after an edging session.”
 
“But, i was thrilled.  Not only did i comply with Your command but i was actually able to completely ruin the orgasm.  That is when it hit me deeper than ever before – i am truly submissive to Your whims and commands, not my desires.  i remain without a satisfying orgasm, but knew i was satisfying You, which is all that matters now in my new slave life.”
 
i sat for a few minutes in my chair, exhausted from the physical exertion, but not like i used to after cumming.  This time i reflected on what just happened, without You physically being there to watch if i was obedient or not.  i was stunned – and pleased – that i am totally obedient, even with You 700 miles away.  Knowing it means more to please You by following Your commands, even without supervision, than pleasuring myself.”

 

That final paragraph really says it all.

You can follow slave boy’s chastity progress on Twitter.

Your Power

I received this letter via email a few days after spending time with a long-term submissive that I consider “Mine”.  It’s safe to say we have a special relationship – the kind that longevity, pushing limits and extended sessions will give.  It just made Me smile and I wanted to share.

Mistress,

Lying alone in a darkened bedroom Sunday, as close to rock hard as I can still get, I can’t stop marveling at and savoring how much You deepened and extended Your domination of me.

 I love that I’m a visible tribute to Your use of me as a play toy — with bare genitals, a torn back, a striped, swollen ass that aches nonstop and nipples that remind me at every touch of fabric how much You delight in being cruel to me.

 But most important, You rearranged my mind in new ways I’m still not fully aware of.

I know Your taunting oral commands are what released me.

I’m still only beginning to grasp the full psychic symbolism of lying beneath You for the warm, degrading bath that You described as marking me like an animal as Yours.

 And I am more certain with each passing minute that the immersion in Your scent dramatically altered my mind–for how long I still don’t know.

I could feel Your scent instantly make me harder and struggle to get harder still.

 That extended dose of Your scent made me long for rather than fear each hard whip and cane stroke, and hope the pain would glow farther and farther into surrounding tissue.

I’m sure that Your scent suppressed my gag response so I could dance longer with death when Your nyloned toe closed my airway. And it heightened the joy I felt at Your playing deep inside me when you widened Your toes inside my throat!

In short, I never felt so fully owned and used by You.  And I just want it to go on forever.

All Yours,
anonymous slave

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