Category Archives: Miscellaneous Musings

Trials and Tribulations of a chastity slave – #33

Sunday, 05 December 2021 20:53
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The Emergence of a Sissy Slut – by slaveboy jaime

i have long believed in the Supremacy of Women, so becoming a submissive to Mistress Ayn was not a surprise to me, however the depth of that commitment does pleasantly shock me.  i do not know how deep inside of me was the desire to also become a sissy slut, but Mistress Ayn located that and is exploiting it to my amazement and Her (and my) enjoyment.

It is one thing to have Mistress Ayn spend what seems like hours up close and personal with me.  i treasure those times when She carefully and precisely applies makeup and transforms me into the sissy She desires.  Then a variety of Mistresses and Goddesses enjoy the task of selecting what i am to wear – sometimes silly and other times quite elegant (as my “bride’s outfit” for the collaring ceremony at the FemDom Mansion) – in order to serve Them at dinner or be the perfect hostess at a cocktail party or perform as a Burlesque dancer.

Yet, recently, there has been a major transformation in my “sissyhood.”  i am now purchasing a new sissy wardrobe for myself to wear privately around my house or upon command for Zoom sessions with Mistress Ayn – not only on display at the FemDom Mansion.  With guidance from Mistress Ayn, i search websites for that perfectly sissified pair of stockings, or garter belt, or corset, or bedtime wear, or French maid’s outfit.

When i wear these clothes i feel my “sissy-self” emerging.  i feel more in touch with “my feminine side,” a cliché but true.  i feel complete in having this part of my personality emerge.  i feel sexy, yet submissive.  And, the corsets, it is like someone is hugging me with the soft texture of the material but the firmly embracing me through the tightly laced ribbons securely tied.

This is all still quite new for me but i am treasuring what i am now experiencing.  It is good to find a new and comfortable side of my personality and even more exhilarating that it seems to please my Mistress.

i often wondered if She dressed me up – once as Mistress Ayn’s Mini-Me for a Halloween party at the FemDom Mansion – because She liked it, which is sufficient for me.  But, now i am thinking that Mistress Ayn saw this part of me way-down, deep inside my psyche and has helped bring it out so i can enjoy it because She cares for me so very much as Her chaste and owned slaveboy.

Saying goodbye.

Monday, 13 September 2021 17:28
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With a heavy heart, I bring news of Michael’s (aka Ayn’s Toy and Wheelz) death. He was taken from us suddenly and the sun has seemed a little dimmer ever since. Michael touched the lives of so many in our community with his kind words, encouragement and humor. He was a joy and an inspiration to all that knew him.

On May 2nd of this year, I put a collar on Michael’s neck, acknowledging his status of belonging.  It was not a commitment either of us took lightly.  He made Me proud in so many ways and I believe he would say it completed him.  In Me, and our community, he found a safe place – a place he said felt like home.  I loved him for that and so much more.  It breaks My heart that I won’t be able to celebrate our anniversary with him next year.

For Michael, submissiveness was not a persona he took out of the closet and chose to wear when it suited him.  Our time together was not about what I could do to him or for him, but what he could do for Me and that is where he took his real pleasure.  He was the real deal and that is rare.

There were so many beautiful things about Michael, but one that always amazed Me was how he dealt with his injury and the confinement to a chair.  I never knew him to be bitter or have self pity.  He almost made you forget his limitations and his self deprecating humor stopped any awkwardness you might feel in his presence.

He touched many lives in this community by giving of himself;  always quick to lift someone up, congratulate them and counsel them when they were down.  He literally “made” the online community that many of us are a part of and he will leave a void not easily filled.  I for one will miss him forever.

Go in peace My toy.

“Thank you for being a part of my life … For picking me up when I needed it.. for allowing me to do the same for you… For finding the perfect gif to “win” our banter.. . For being the centerpiece of our group of friends that play on here… You will be forever missed.”- asp

“He was one of the first people who helped me become comfortable in the kink community. Always helpful and always up for a good joke. This hurt me more than most would expect since I never met him in person. I had hoped to one day but now I can’t. I’m glad to have met him.” – n_ikkbell

“Michael will be missed, his humor,wit and advice always brought more than was given. One of the best . My heart and thoughts are with all who knew him.” – rob aka elf

“The banter back and forth on here will be missed. I offer my hugs. The loss is going to sting much more, and much deeper, than any tool can give.” – claudia f

“This was heartbreaking  news to get the other day from my Domme Sister/Bestie. I had the privilege of knowing Michael over the years. He is a kind, gentle soul. One of the good guys and gone too soon It is heart wrenching! I have been reflecting over the last few days to honor him.” – Goddess Samantha

“He was and will be a special ‘brother'”. . . – slaveboy jaime

“Truly painful loss of a great person and sub”. – Mistress Ultra Violet

“AynsToy and I became friends several years ago and shared our love for BBQ, guns and fast cars. My ’63 Vette and his Dodge Hellcat. We shared many lunches and found we had many things in common. He was an exceptional man; loving,caring, fun-loving, kind to a fault.  To him I offer this poem by John Gillespie Magee in 1941. Sounds just like AynsToy.” – Ayn’s pet (aka paddles)

 

Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;
Sunward I’ve climbed and joined the tumbling mirth
Of sun-split clouds,- and done a hundred things
You have not dreamed of- wheeled and soared and swung
High in the sunlit silence. Hovering there, I’ve chased the shouting wind along, and flung
My eager craft through footless hall of air . . .
Up, up the long, delirious burning blue
I’ve topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace
Where never lark, or ever eagle flew-
And, while with silent, lifting mind I’ve trod
The high untrespassed sanctity of space,
Put out my hand, and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee 1941

 

Collaring slaves

Wednesday, 16 June 2021 14:05
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Collaring a submissive is something I have always been resistant to, for several reasons.  I am a believer in long term relationships and I take commitment very seriously.  The act of collaring, to Me, is not a whim.  On the contrary it is much like a marriage.  I become responsible for the sub and everything the sub does is now a reflection on Me.  That’s heavy stuff.

The pandemic has been difficult in many ways but it has made Me reevaluate the things that are important to Me.  When times are difficult you learn who you can really depend on  and it became clear to Me that I have some spectacular subs.  Among those a few really stand out because of their long time exclusive devotion, the things they do to go the extra mile, their dependability, special skills or a combination of all of the above.  But mainly I realized there were a few subs that I knew I could really depend on.  If I were stranded in another state or hurt on the side of the road, they would move heaven and earth to rescue Me.  They would be family.

Because of this I decided to collar 3 additional subs this year and all three are now members of My kinky family.  Prior to this I had only the one collared sub, aka slave jaime, Ayn’s slaveboy.  It was a touchy subject to inform slaveboy he now had “brothers” but he accepted the news well.  I have encouraged My collared subs to get to know each other and I think that has only strengthened their bond.

The subs:

joe – My joe has served Me over a decade.  He has been the rock I needed during the rehabbing of two Dungeons.  He is the guy you call when a crisis occurs and he is always there ready to help.   In reality I should have collared joe years ago, so although he is not My first collared sub, I do consider him the alpha sub.

Ayn’s pet aka paddles – My pet has also served Me for at least a decade.  He has been loyal and fun but more recently he has become even more.  He is the one that volunteers sweat labor when he sees something needing done.  He has made Dungeon furniture, cleaned carpets, done yard work, filmed, you name it.   He has never refused a thing I asked.

Ayn’s toy – My toy was an easy decision but for different reasons.  During the pandemic he offered his support in important ways.  I could tell anytime he was able to help, he felt fulfilled by it in a way beyond how a typical person might feel.   It’s as if service completes him and I don’t know if I have ever met a soul quite like him.  He wormed his way into My heart in a comparatively short period of time, but I think he is here to stay.

These men have made a vow to serve and honor Me and I made a vow to protect and support them and be worthy of their service.  I hope we continue to make each other proud.  Yes, that is some heavy stuff.

Thank you for supporting Atlanta Dungeon

Wednesday, 07 April 2021 21:10
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The outpouring of support to help Atlanta Dungeon stay afloat during the pandemic has been amazing and I want to thank all of you that donated.  Many of you were quite generous.  The average donation via Fundly was over $200 and several of you gave in excess of $1000.  You will not be forgotten.

I am pleased to say that not only was the goal met, it was surpassed.   This means the space we all love will continue to be there for us.  Sessions have started to pick up as well so, unless another shoe drops, we should be out of the woods.

I appreciate My local subs continuing to do in person sessions and I hope My traveling subs will be able to visit soon.  Take care out there and again, many thanks.

 

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For those that can’t travel to see Me yet, I am still offering distance training, chastity programs and video and phone sessions.

 

 Distance Training and Online FemDom Sessions

 

Task Tuesdays on AVN Stars

Friday, 12 March 2021 10:31
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Join Me in the Inner Sanctum

Join Me in My Inner Sanctum for Task Tuesdays. Every sub gets a personalized task on Tuesdays, plus access to over 100 full length clips.  What are you waiting for?  Click here and start serving. 

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