Category Archives: Education

Cuckold fantasy – making it real

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

 

The concept of being cuckolded is quite common among men.  I hear it a lot in My industry – men fantasizing about their wives being with other men.  I agree it’s a hot fantasy but in practice I advise against it.   So much can go wrong that can end up tearing a couple apart, but it doesn’t mean you can’t safely enjoy the fantasy.  It just takes effort and imagination.

While doing some distance training with a couple it was revealed that the man had a long held cuckold fantasy and that the wife was resistant.  I gave them My stock advice to keep it in the fantasy realm but I also coached them on how to enjoy the fantasy.  Good fantasy fulfilment often involves at least a little mindfuckery and that’s exactly what we did.  The wife set up the fantasy by informing her husband that she had met someone online (they had been trolling cuckold forums/sites) that she wanted to meet in person.  She explained that she would feel better meeting this person out for a drink to break the ice and that she wanted to go alone so she wouldn’t feel inhibited.

She made her husband help her pick out her outfit and get dressed for the date, all the while telling him how excited she was to meet this guy. He asked her questions about him, she answered.  They made it real.

Once she got to the bar, she checked in as agreed and throughout the evening she sent her husband provocative texts, often leaving his texts unanswered, letting him stew.  She then announced that she was going to get into the car with the guy because the bar had gotten crowded and she wanted to get a look at his cock.  She later texted him a photo of an nicely endowed penis that was obviously taken on a cell phone in a car.  The husband started to doubt that this was just a fantasy . . .

This byplay continued for 3 hours while the husband got more and more aroused.  In addition to arousal he had feelings of jealousy and concern.  All of this is part of the cuckold game.

When she arrived home, she told him all the juicy details of her encounter including having impromptu sex in the guy’s car.  But now she was ready to fuck her husband and have him reclaim what was his.  He was to get the bedroom ready while she changed.  During this time, she rubbed some of her husband’s cum (saved from a previous scene) on her pussy.  When she stipped down for him, she instructed him to clean the other man’s cum from her pussy with his mouth.  The sex that followed was described as “amazing” by them both.

With some effort and roleplay you can make most any fantasy realistic and safe.  I debriefed them both via Skype after the scene and the wife (who had never quite “gotten” the fantasy) said she was extremely aroused during the scene.  Knowing that she was pulling her husbands strings was a power trip and then seeing how excited he was when she returned home made her excited too.  It was a win win.

A review of this couple’s online BDSM training including reference to this cuckolding scene can be found on The Buzz.

**Note:  My opinions are My own and may not be shared by others.  I do not hold Myself out as an expert on cuckolding but I do live a polyamorous lifestyle.  Along the way I have encountered other poly couples, swingers, cucks, hotwives, etc and My opinions about cuckolding come from those experiences.

FAQ #33: What is chastity fetish play?

virtual chastityThere is serious chastity and there is play chastity.  Chastity fetish play is just that, play.  If you are looking for someone to control your orgasms on a short term basis to make you excited, enhance your libido and then listen to you beg – then short term chastity fetish play is for you.

I often use this type of orgasm control prior to a session.  A submissive locks up a few days (to a few weeks) prior to serving Me in person.  I tease him and deny him by making him look at photos or videos of Me, unable to touch, and he soon becomes desperate to do as I command.   It keeps the sub focused on his upcoming service and puts him in a proper state of mind starting well ahead of the session.

For this type of chastity, you don’t need an expensive device.  This can even be done with “virtual chastity” where no device is used, you are just on the honor system.  With all chastity, if you cheat, you are just cheating yourself.

To add some chastity play to an upcoming session or engage in some short term play online, send Me an email at ayn@mistressayn.com to inquire.  If you are interested in serious chastity with a key holder, I provide that service too.

Stealing time – Don’t be “that guy”.

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

As a professional Dominant the only thing I have for sale is My time.  Unfortunately too many want to steal it.  By stealing I mean:

  • Calling to discuss your kinks, ask questions that are available on My website or just chat.  I charge for those types of calls and have a NiteFlirt account set up just for this purpose.  I stopped answering My phone because 9 out of 10 callers are there to attempt to steal.
  • Emailing and requesting an extended session (Dommes are going to be really nice to you if you dangle a 3-4 hour session in front of them, right?) in the future and then attempting to ask questions, exchange photos, etc. leading up to that session – which probably will never happen.  That’s an old trick and most of Us are wise to it.
  • Setting up a session and then wanting to call to discuss the session in advance.
  • Wanting to DM on Twitter, Fetlife, Facebook and other social media.

An experienced Domme can spot these tricks a mile away and it’s one reason deposits have become so prevalent.  If you want a professional’s time, pay for it.  If you want to discuss the session prior, fine.  I will charge you for the call and if you follow through with the session in a timely manner I will apply half the fee to the session.  Most of Us do paid phone sessions, email exchanges and such in addition to real time sessions.  Just ask.  Don’t be “that” guy.

COVID-19, sessions and safety.

I am getting emails almost daily asking if I am still accepting sessions.  For now the answer is “yes”.  I am a relatively low volume Domme because My tribute is a little higher and My average session length is 2 hours, so I typically don’t see multiple subs per day – especially now.   Seeing a Domme is probably much safer than getting your haircut, going to the gym or even going to your grocery store.  The number of individuals using the facility daily is extremely small and our health consciousness and attention to detail is not something that we just adopted due to the virus.

Ironically a well kept Dungeon is one of the cleanest environments you can be in.  At Atlanta Dungeon our practice has always been to sterilize each piece of equipment after use and to disinfect all furniture you come in contact with during a session.  With COVID-19 our practices are even more strenuous and includes a wipe down of furniture both before and after your session along with disinfecting commonly touched surfaces like door knobs, faucet handles, etc. before and after each session.  Remember, our industry is used to protecting its clients from blood and fluid borne pathogens, so we always use hospital grade cleansers like CaviCide, Barbicide (dimethyl benzyl ammonium chloride), along with bleach and alcohol.

To help make sure I keep you and Myself safe, I am practicing “social distancing” outside of work.  I am no longer going to the gym, eating out or attending functions and am pretty much just staying home and going to the Dungeon as needed.  Obviously everyone has to make their own decisions when it comes to risks but I want My submissives to know that I have their safety as well as My own in the forefront of My mind.

We probably have some trying times ahead and a little stress relief will be needed by all.  If you don’t want or can’t do an in person session, I will be more accessible for phone and Skype sessions.

So if you need a little escape from the world ending, come and get your kink on.

Tribute Etiquette

How to present your tribute:

  1. Have it ready – counting out your tribute in front of Me is uncouth. Whether intended or not, I see it as a passive aggressive move to remind Me that you are paying and therefore in control. It’s not the best way to start your session.
  1. Have it in a plain, unsealed envelope. Even if you have been seeing Me for years, I may count the tribute in private before we start.  Especially if it’s a double or the tribute deviates from our norm.  I prefer not to have to rip the envelope open to do this check.
  1. Don’t write anything on the envelope. I would prefer not to have a bunch of envelopes with “Mistress Ayn” floating around out there – either in your pocket or the trash.  We all know who it is for.
  1. Just lay it down within eyesight upon entry. Don’t hand it to Me.  Most of Us were taught not to touch the tribute.  It’s a legal thing and I don’t know if it  holds water or not, but I have always done it this way and it just feels better to Me.  Somehow it’s less transactional and starts everything off right.

I can’t speak for all Dommes but this is how I like to receive My tribute.  If in doubt, ask.  It is your first live interaction with a Mistress, so get it right and start things off positively.

 

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