Monthly Archives: March 2018

SESTA/FOSTA and how we move forward

Thursday, 29 March 2018 22:09
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The adult industry, which includes Professional Domination, is aghast at the passing of the Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act.  In most people’s opinion, it will do little to stop the “human trafficking” which was how it was sold to the public, but will instead force the sex industry (including the traffickers and pedos) farther underground and make everyone less safe.  It also blows a giant hole in our internet freedoms but few are actually talking about that.  The bottom line is the new law will hold website owners, hosting companies, social media sites, etc. responsible for the content of their users. If a provider posts a tweet on Twitter that says she will be available for sessions in Washington, DC, (and if those sessions are deemed illegal) technically Twitter would be breaking the law and Twitter would be held accountable.  But what does it really mean to Us as Dommes and you as a client?

We are a long way from knowing what the fallout from this will be. As many have said, it will really be up to the courts. The first test case will set the precedent. The DOJ has already said they don’t have time to police this and many believe that the judiciary will see this as overreach. We shall see.

I am not a political creature and have no expertise in these matters but my guess is they will go after the “low hanging fruit” first. Sites like The Erotic Review would be far easier to prosecute than say Max Fisch. TER caters primarily to escorts and illegal activity (illegal in the US, but they are based in Canada where providing sexual services is not illegal) is openly talked about there. I know TER has taken their US forums down, but what about the profiles and reviews of US providers? Profiles contain information like “rimming allowed” and “cum in mouth”. They may self-regulate this too by taking all US provider profiles down. As long as those profiles and reviews are up, they will be a big potential target. It will be interesting to watch.

Eros Guide is another big question mark. After the raid on their call offices in North Carolina, they notified advertisers saying that they were based in Switzerland and that all our information was safe. It will be interesting to see how non-US based companies like TER and Eros Guide will be treated. Any of the websites that mix escort/GFE services with BDSM are likely to be gone for us going forward – either by self-censorship or heavy enforcement of this new law. Personally, I have never liked being on a site that mixes the two but we don’t always have a choice if we want to advertise effectively. I would much prefer being exclusively on sites like Dickie Virgin that cater solely to BDSM. I may get my wish.

What’s really sad for me to see is all the self-censorship this is already causing. People are so afraid that they are policing themselves before the law has been tested. We are letting them win. Until there is a test case, I am not doing anything.

Obviously, those of us that are established in the business will feel any fall out less than newer providers or those trying to get started out in the business. When the BDSM/fetish portion of Backpage when down, I didn’t feel anything. If anything, I think it cleaned up the business a bit. But I am not a new Domme trying to get my name out. I am well indexed and easy to find. If sites like MF, the Buzz and Dickie Virgin bite the dust, it will be very hard for a new provider to get her name out there. I feel their pain.

Regardless, I think it’s highly doubtful they will choose to go after BDSM anytime soon. We should all stick to best business practices on our own websites and social media. We know what that is, we just don’t always adhere to it.

What should you do?

As a ProDomme,  you need to get your name out everywhere now because you don’t know what, if any, sites will be going down.  Do not rely on one advertising source.  Make sure your website is search engine friendly and take steps to get it indexed properly.  If you have a free site like Weebly or a WordPress blog, replace it.  Those companies already have rules against adult content and will be sure to enforce it fully now.  Back up your website and at a minimum copy all the wording in the event you have to rebuild it.  It’s also a good idea to start researching non-US based hosting companies.  Start using encrypted email and encourage your clients to do the same.  Use “best practices” on social media, like marking sensitive content.  You should have been doing this anyway and the first to have their accounts shut down will likely be the ones that have not used best practices.  Allow clients to subscribe to your email list and back that list up often if it is kept at a third party vendor like icontact.  These are all things that savvy, business headed ProDommes are already doing anyway.  That’s why they will be hurt less by any fallout.

As a client, you should start saving the contact information of providers that are important to you. Websites, social media accounts, etc. may start to disappear. If they have an email mailing list, subscribe to it.  Replace your “sub-persona” email account with encrypted email.  I’ve been using private, encrypted email (Luxsci.com) for a while now because I’ve never liked the idea of data mining. However it’s only good if it’s used on both ends – meaning if I send an email to a gmail account, it loses its secure feature once it lands in your gmail account. Many people are converting to ProtonMail.com, a free (for now) provider based in Switzerland that claims to be encrypted and does not share or scrape your account for marketing purposes.  ProtonMail to My account would therefore be encrypted and secure.

So in summary, I am not panicking and I don’t think anyone else should either. However, it is good to be prepared.  I think it is sad to see this potential loss of freedom, but as a nation, we brought this on ourselves by being asleep at the wheel and trading liberty and freedom for security.  Sleep tight America.

Want a simple primer to get up to speed on what FOSTA is all about?  Here is a pretty cut to the chase on:

https://www.thecut.com/2018/03/sesta-anti-sex-trafficking-bill-fosta.html

FemDom Mansion – sub jaime’s event

Wednesday, 21 March 2018 12:26
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This spring FemDom Mansion hosted its most elaborate event to date.  It was a 2 day adventure that one submissive will never forget.  The premise was that the slave as being sent to Me by his owner (who we will call Mistress K) for additional training in areas she felt he was lacking.  Since the location of FemDom Mansion is a closely guarded secret the slave was met by a member of the FM crew, was stripped, secured in the back of panel van and then dropped off at the front door of the Mansion wrapped only in a blanket.  What transpired over the next 2 days is the very essence of many a slave’s fantasies.

Here are just a few of the experiences this slave enjoyed:

  • Greeted  and prepared for service by a naked slave girl
  • Preformed formal dinner service of a chef-prepared meal to 4 Mistresses
  • Taught proper and respectful worship of feet, legs, ass, etc. – with lots of opportunity for practice
  • Serving as the “house slave” which meant being at the beck and call of multiple Mistresses
  • Serving drinks, hors-d’oeuvres and anything else required at a FemDom Cocktail Party
  • Being the demo bottom for other slaves in training
  • Learning to tolerate higher levels of pain
  • Schooled in high protocol
  • Double and triple Dommes sessions
  • Being on display and forced to perform in front of an audience at a late night BDSM play party

FemDom Mansion is not for the faint of heart but if you have been dreaming of a FemDom adventure where you can fully immerse yourself in the Female led lifestyle, it may be just the experience you have been seeking.  FemDom Mansion is available for stays of 24 hours.  It is a private experience, meaning we only accommodate one sub/client at a time – making it the most decadent and hedonistic FemDom encounter available anywhere.

Read sub jaime’s review of his stay at FemDom Mansion on Max Fisch

See more photos and curated tweets on this Twitter Moment.

 

 

 

Passing out in a BDSM FemDom session

Wednesday, 14 March 2018 13:50
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This is a topic no one seems to want to talk about but it’s a real concern in BDSM play.  Out of the thousands of hours of sessions I’ve been involved in I have had this happen maybe 15 times – so although it’s rare, it does happen.

BDSM play can be strenuous and intense but it isn’t always extreme situations that cause a submissive to faint or pass out.  When you lose consciousness it’s because the body is under stress and decides to shut down.  The combination of adrenaline and odd positioning that often accompany a session can be enough in itself to cause an event.  Throw in a little pain and the ante goes up.  The following are just some of the causes of fainting in session:

  • Lack of hydration
  • Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) – including Non-Diabetic Hypoglycemia
  • A sudden lowering of blood pressure (many causes including ED drugs, vasovagal stimulation from pain, etc.)
  • Extreme temperatures
  • Lack of blood flow
  • Underlying heart issues or circulatory issues

There are a plethora of factors that can contribute to fainting in session and it can happen to anyone, at any age, so heed the following precautions:

  • Hydrate well prior to a session.  In My experience lack of hydration is the #1 factor.   For longer sessions, bring water or a sports drink.
  • Avoid erectile dysfunction drugs like Cialis and Viagra.  I know it’s fun to have a raging hard-on in session but ED drugs lower blood pressure (see above) and if you are on alpha blockers or nitrate drugs this can make the effect worse and is dangerous.  If you do take ED drugs for a session, move slowly when changing positions, avoid positions of standing immobility and by all means inform your Domme.
  • Eat normally prior to a session.  I know some subs can get a “case of the nerves” prior to sessioning and have a loss of appetite, but coming to a session on an empty stomach could have you ending up on the floor.  Eat and drink normally at least 30 minutes prior to your session.
  • When placed in standing positions. like on the St. Andrews cross, don’t lock your knees.  It lowers circulation to the brain.
  • If you get overheated easily and you are going to be engaging in very physical play or even cross-dressing, ask that the room temperature is lowered.  An overly warm room can cause light-headedness and subsequent fainting in some subs.
  • Be honest in your dealings with your BDSM provider.  If you have ever been lightheaded, felt dizzy or lost consciousness in session, tell them up front.  Some subs are just more prone to this.  That way she can take the necessary precautions.  Be honest about medical conditions, your age, medications and other relevant information she requires.  If she chooses not to see you because of it, so be it.  It could be a disaster if she is unprepared to deal with your condition.
  • At the first sign of lightheadedness, dizziness or disorientation – tell your Top immediately so they can take the necessary measures to keep you safe.

Advice for Tops:

In my personal experience, ED drugs, CBT and the St. Andrews cross = a perfect storm.  One of the factors is lack of circulation due to locked knees and hands above the heart in this position.  Use extreme caution in this situation or avoid it all together if you are not familiar with the sub and his responses.  The good news is, most subs revive quickly once you lay them flat.  They may be disoriented for a few seconds and think they were out longer than they were, but it’s usually only for a few seconds.

If your sub loses consciousness, the most important thing is not to panic.  The biggest issue you have at this point is moving them safely to a prone position.  If they are on the cross, unhook the legs first and pull them out a bit so they don’t fall forward when you release their hands.  Have full weight release clamps on the wrist connectors.  Their full weight will be on their wrists and it will be difficult (if not impossible) to unclamp them without release clamps.  While releasing the wrists, push your shoulder into their torso to bear their weight the best you can and guide them to the floor.  The bigger the sub the harder they will fall and this can be a difficult maneuver to do on your own, but they must come down in order to wake up.

Once they are flat on the floor aid in circulation by propping their feet up above their heart.  As stated, most subs wake instantly, but it’s still a good idea to have them rest in this position for a while before trying to move.  Give them water to sip.  Simple sugars like juice or hard candy (always keep some candy in your play bag) are helpful in cases of insulin drop.   Most subs are able to rest for 5-10 minutes and want to continue the session but use your discretion as to whether to continue or not and if you do, keep them in sitting or lying positions.  Tables are best but I have never had an issue on a spanking bench either.

If your sub does not revive quickly or becomes incontinent this is not a good sign and it’s time to call emergency response.

Although I did have this post reviewed by a doctor/sub client, it is not meant to be all encompassing and if in doubt, always err on the side of caution.  

 

 

Feel free to send your husband to me.

Monday, 12 March 2018 15:11
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Many of you are aware that I do a lot of work with couples and it makes Me seriously happy when I see couples enjoying the lifestyle.  On a recent trip to DC I got an interesting email:  a sub contacts Me saying he will be in DC on a business trip the same time I am there and his Wife/.Mistress has given him permission to book a session.  That got Me excited.  The idea of collaborating with his Wife and then executing a mutual plan was a treat and that’s exactly what We did.

This sub maintains a personal blog of his journey serving his Wife/Mistress and his experiences with chastity and he wrote about our session there for all the world to see.  I have copied his post below but you can find the entry and read other postings from him here.

a foreign hand, voice…

Preface: I approached my Goddess with a question –  [ would she mind If I sessioned with a pro-domme on a business trip? ] – after some quick thought and conversation her answer was , sure – go for it.  (this is not the first time she’s sent me to see a Domme.. but I think this is the first time she sent me without reservations or concerns that sometimes a relationship/marriage can have. – we’re both older now and I think more secure in our love and loyalties – the trust or understanding is deeper and so is the knowledge of BDSM )

what adds a specific layer of fun or suspense to this is the additional dimension of mental play.. such as the pro domme replying with “I look forward to plotting and planning with your wife.”
or after the session an email – “Hello Goddess.  I am sorry to report that I had an accident with your boy.  We were right near the end and I misjudged the stimulation and he had an unauthorized orgasm.  (Now I know what a slut he is for electro!) I do apologize for that.  It was not our plan nor my intention  I did make him recycle it and punished his balls afterward as a consolation to you. “
——-
So Prior to the session and the morning of the trip I was to put on my DickCage, a silicone cage that allows for TSA Travel..  – I was to bring an additional plastic lock “Just in case” the Pro Domme and my Goddess had decided to allow me out to play.. realistically slut training, CBT, etc.. could after all be done without chastity removal….
——-
Mistress Ayn was a seasoned professional, warm and welcoming but yet in control and centered you…
My session included some bondage, cbt, slut training, strap-on worship, sensory deprivation and electrics…  the T.E.N.S unit is what resulted in the accidental release and if it comes out it must go back in rule….  the accident happened at the last minute mark of the session, this was my fault.!!

 

I’m anxious to see what fall out there will be from the accident and I’m thankful to Mistress Ayn and Goddess Philotes for the effort that was spent.
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